


If We Do the Unthinkable

by cassiopeiasara



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Background Yatesbert, Drunk Shenanigans, Dual POV, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Sexual Content, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 06:43:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9309953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiopeiasara/pseuds/cassiopeiasara
Summary: After a bust in Atlantic City, the Ghostbusters decide to have a little fun. Patty and Holtz get more than they bargained for when they wake up married the next morning. Annulment ceases to be an option when they learn the media has gotten hold of what they’ve deemed an unexpected but heartwarming tale of love found while chasing ghosts. Now they have to keep up the charade amongst talk show interviews and both positive and negative media attention. It would also be nice to remember how the hell they got in this mess in the first place.





	1. Last Friday Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I've had this story for so long and I'm so happy to finally share it. Shoutout to my beta DiNovia for not only looking this over but being one of the most supportive friends I have.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own these characters with the exception of Kelly and Jessika. I do not seek profit. Title is from "Unthinkable" by Alicia Keys

>   _Last Friday Night_
> 
> _Yeah we danced on tabletops_
> 
> _And we took too many shots_
> 
> _Think we kissed but I forgot_

“Last Friday Night”~Katy Perry

Fleetwood Mac’s _Go Your Own Way_ filtered through Patty’s sleepy mind as she blinked her eyes open slowly. She stared up at an unremarkable white ceiling and tried to pinpoint her location. There was a growing throbbing between her temples and she considered just going back to sleep but she knew she wouldn’t be able to if she couldn’t remember where the hell she was. She licked her lips to create some moisture against the dryness in her mouth and tasted slight remnants of what must have been some sort of sugary alcohol from the night before.

She turned her head toward the music and the throbbing got worse. _Girl, you need to remember you’re not in your twenties_ , she chided herself. She felt worse than she did after her friend Mylene’s birthday party and that had included literally swinging from a chandelier.

Her ringtone started again and she groaned as she lifted herself up to reach for it. Her sore muscles protested against the action. Had she decided heavy lifting was a good idea last night?

Her vision finally cleared enough for her to see her phone screen and she silenced the alarm. She sat up more despite the pain in her body and took inventory of herself and the room. As she rubbed her temples, she looked down and noticed she was in a long t-shirt with nothing on the front but she felt the edge of a design on her back. From the odd way the collar hit her neck, she figured it became twisted in the night. She considered pulling it around the right way but when she raised her arms, the pain had her opt not to.

Next, she surveyed the room. Her dress from the night before was laid out on a desk chair and she reached up to her head to feel for her wrap. She was thankful that even in an inebriated state, she’d remembered it. There were other things strewn about the room; empty champagne glasses, her purse, some earrings, a few other pieces of clothing.

Her eyes landed on a familiar pair of yellow glasses resting on the nightstand.

_Where was-_

An arm wrapped around her middle and attempted to pull her closer. She pulled the comforter down a little and a mess of blonde curls revealed itself.

“No getting up,” muttered Holtz.

Patty brushed off the urge to shake her head, knowing it was ill advised in her current state. It relieved her to see that Holtz was wearing some clothes, albeit just a sports bra and shorts, but still clothes. If Patty had finally managed an advance on the feelings that she’d recently developed for her teammate, she wanted to remember it and she doubted they would both be the least bit clothed.

Her bladder called and she slipped out from the bed with Holtz muttering tired attempts to get her to stay. She smiled softly as Holtz moved toward Patty’s empty space and curled up like a cat against the resettled blanket.

Thankfully, the bathroom wasn’t too far and if she kept her eyes on the floor in front of her, the room didn’t spin too much. She tried to recall the night before but all her mind responded with was disjointed flashes. She could remember a brief time in the casino, dinner, and Abby attempting to breakdance on a bar. The last part she felt had to be a dream.

As Patty washed her hands, she tried to remember how she and Holtz ended up in the hotel room with one bed as she distinctly remembered offering it to Erin and Abby. She turned off the sink and reached for a towel.

She dropped it almost as soon as she grabbed it. She held up her hand and her eyes flitted between her hand and its reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sure enough, there was a gold band on her left ring finger.

“What in the sweet hell?” she muttered. She closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. There was no way this was real life.

“Hey Pats, when did you get hiked?”

Patty sighed as she opened her eyes. “It’s  _hitched_. And how do you even--shit.”

The first thing Patty noticed when she turned was a smudged lipstick stain at the base of Holtz's neck that Patty would recognize anywhere. She’d smeared it on her own lips often enough. So maybe they hadn't slept together but _something_ had happened.

The next thing Patty noticed was the tiny gold band that adorned Holtz's left hand which was currently pointed at Patty's back. “ _Fuck_.”

Holtz tilted her head up at her. “No matter the nomenclature, I don’t think that’s a recognized measurement of time. ”

Patty stepped forward and held up her hand against Holtzmann’s.

Holtz narrowed her eyes in concentration then gave Patty a slow smile. “Hey, we got matching rings, that’s cool but-”

Patty eyes went wide as she tilted her head.  “They’re wedding rings, baby.”

Holtz blinked up at her for a few moments before she crossed her eyebrows. “You married me?”

Patty noted that the tone in Holtz’s voice sounded awfully similar to when she discovered how to build a new part. Unfortunately, she didn’t have time to dwell on it.

“I guess so.” She pointed at Holtz’s neck. “And it looks like I went a lil crazy on you there, too.”

Holtz paused and shifted her eyes from Patty’s hand to her own. She shrugged as she glanced back up at Patty. She didn’t even bother inspecting the lipstick stain.  

Patty sighed and placed her hands on her hips. The ring felt as if it weighed a ton, which distracted Patty from the fact that it was a perfect fit.

“What do you remember from last night?”

Holtz raised her eyebrows. “Pats, you know I can never remember what day it is.”

Patty pinned her with a glare.

“I remember steak with mashed potatoes.” She pointed to her neck. “Wish I remembered this though. Wanna try again?”

Patty rolled her eyes and immediately regretted the action. She stepped out of the bathroom and looked around the room as she went over the facts in her head. _Matching wedding rings, sharing a bed, lipstick stains, champagne flutes_. They kept repeating like a commercial jingle too catchy to forget.

She found a piece of paper on the coffee table that looked like a marriage certificate. _Souvenir_ was printed at the top with information about when the real license would be mailed to them.

Patty held it up and turned back to Holtz.  “Does Bonnet Island ring a bell?”

In Patty’s frantic searching, Holtz moved out of the bathroom and leaned against the doorway and as Patty looked at her, she noticed Holtz didn’t turn to look up at the piece of paper. Her eyes were trained on Patty’s legs instead.

Patty shook the paper. “Holtzy?”

The grin Holtz wore as she slowly trailed her eyes up to the paper Patty held had Patty completely reconsidering the mystery of their marriage as thoughts of dragging Holtz to bed flooded her mind. Well, it was one way to ease a headache. She felt an ache in her lower back that seemed to shoot out in reminder of why that might not be the best plan.  

Holtz shrugged and winked as she peeled off the doorway. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

Patty couldn’t decide if it was an invitation so she opted instead to wave a hand in dismissal and tried to make sense of the fragments she could remember. There was no way they’d gotten drunk and got married. Atlantic City was no Vegas and didn’t you need like a few forms of ID to get married?

There was a knock at the door adjoining their rooms and Patty put down the paper slowly then grabbed a robe to answer the door.

Erin stood, staring at the floor and took her time looking up at Patty. "Good morning," she said quietly and Patty's head was glad for her thoughtful lack of volume.

"Morning."

Erin held up a picture. "I was hoping this doesn't mean what I think it means."

Patty took the picture and looked it over several times. She ran her fingertips over the Polaroid image of her face that beamed back at her with a grin and a flowy white dress. Holtz was next to her in a black suit and a satisfied smirk. Erin was holding up Abby, both of whom were dressed in PJ's.

"What..."

"It was on my nightstand with a note I'd written that said ‘Don't forget to show Patty.’"

The dress was perfect, the kind of thing she imagined she’d be married in. Her eyes lingered on Holtz; the smirk while unmistakably Holtzmann wasn’t cocky or playful, she just looked delighted. Her eyes drifted between the picture and Erin a few times before she sighed. "I guess it's true."

Erin’s eyes flitted back and forth. Not quite her usual panic mode but Patty figured, she had probably already had her full-blown freakout.

Erin nodded toward the picture. “What are you going to do?”

Patty sighed. “I have no idea.”

Patty heard the shower cut off and resisted the temptation to look behind her.

“Where’s Abby?”

Erin leaned back so Patty could poke her head in and saw a lump of blankets in the middle of one of the beds. “I made sure she was alive of course and convinced her to drink some water--a suggestion I’m guessing she didn’t listen to last night.”

At least Patty wasn’t the only one struggling this morning.

Holtz popped her head in, fully dressed with her glasses on, slightly crooked. Patty straightened them for her and Holtz smiled in thanks. “Breakfast?”

Erin stared at them wide-eyed for a moment, then pointed at Abby. “Yeah, I'll just grab her and we’ll meet you downstairs.”

Patty nodded and wondered about the strange look Erin had given them. She knew that look, but her foggy hungover mind was useless in trying to place it.

“I'm gonna shower, then we’ll go.”

Holtz nodded.

* * *

They didn’t talk much while Patty got ready. Holtz found a bag from a hardware store they’d visited the day before and tinkered with God knows what.

Patty fixed some coffee which helped alleviate her headache somewhat though every time she tried to piece together the night before, the ache just roared back to life.

She slipped on her shoes and nodded toward Holtz, “Ready?”

Holtz nodded. “I’m starving.” She followed Patty out with a grin and a memory flashed in Patty’s mind.

_“I don’t know, Holtzy, I think I might be alone forever.” She pulled the lever on the slot machine._

_Holtz laid her chin on Patty’s shoulder. “You always got me, Pats, and I’ll make it official if marriage is what you need to prove it.”_

_Patty raised her eyebrows. “You wouldn’t.”_

_Holtz kissed Patty’s cheek then moved to stand in front of her. “Oh, but I would.”_

So was it some sort of joke that went too far? Patty reached for the rest of the memory as much as she could but her headache just worsened.

They made their way downstairs with Holtz skipping down the steps. Patty cursed her boundless energy and sighed. She was used to Holtz’s spontaneous ideas but rarely did she participate in them (unless they were food-related). So the question remained, how had this happened?

Erin approached them as they found their way in the food line. “We’re over there. I’ll grab drinks--I’m assuming as much coffee as I can manage?”

Patty nodded. “Sweet Jesus, please.”

Holtz spared no hesitation in piling her plate as high as she could but Patty kept her own pretty bare. She moved almost mechanically, still so distracted in trying to piece the previous evening together.

Holtz side-eyed Patty’s plate and transferred a few things from her own. If Patty wasn’t so dazed, she might of thanked her.

When they reached the table, Abby was slumped over with her face planted on it.

Holtz nodded toward her. “Hey, Ab-bay?”

There was a slight groan in response.

Patty turned to Erin who shrugged and stated, “I'm just happy she made it down the stairs.”

Patty took a sip of coffee. “So what do you remember?”

Erin leaned forward with her chin rested on her palm. “The bust and the room offer are pretty clear. I think we went shopping?”

Patty nodded. It explained why she only vaguely recognized her clothes and Holtz’s collection of hardware.

“We had dinner,” offered Holtz around a mouthful of food.

Erin nodded slowly. “Yeah, the hotel treated us.”

“And then?” asked Patty.

“That’s where it gets fuzzy.”

* * *

_24 hours earlier_

They finished the bust in record time despite the tricky nature of entities disappearing and reappearing. The owner of the casino/hotel was so pleased, he offered a free stay with dinner and all access to the casino.

The concierge looked up from her computer. “I only have two rooms. Is it ok if you double up?”

Abby nodded. “No problem. Holtz, you’re with me, and Patty, you can share with Erin.”

The concierge held up a hand. “Oh, also one of the rooms only has one bed. Will that be a problem? It’s a king though, if that’s any consolation.”

Abby looked unconcerned but Erin shot her a wistful glance which Patty wasn’t surprised Abby missed.

Patty offered, “Actually, how ‘bout I take Holtzy and you can share with Erin? In the single room.”

Erin smiled at her in thanks then turned to Abby. “That ok with you?”

Abby looked a little perplexed but gave a small smile as she answered. “Yeah.”

 _Good_ , Patty thought. _Maybe it’ll help them cross that line they always toeing_.

Holtz bounced next to her. “But Pats, don’t you want to share that big glorious bed with me?”

Patty felt her cheeks warm despite Holtz’s joking eyelash fluttering. “How we gonna build a fort with one bed, baby?”

Holtz’s eyes widened. “You are correct, Pattycakes.”

Patty nodded. “Ok, let’s grab our clothes from the car and load up the gear.”

Holtz raised her eyebrows and scratched the back of her neck. Patty tilted her head at the gesture and knew before she asked her question that the answer wouldn’t be pleasant.  

She placed her hands on her hips and pinned Holtz with a glare. “What did you do?”

Holtz rocked back and forth on her heels. “Oh, nothing I just had to move a few things to fit in the new proton rifle.”

Erin raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “What do you mean by a few things?”

Holtz shrugged as her eyes darted everywhere but at her teammates. “Oh, you know, extra stuff.”

Abby shook her head and sighed. “Holtz, we talked about this. You can’t just move stuff around without telling us.”

Holtz stilled in her rocking and raised a finger. “I know, but the clothes were so bulky and the rifle is so long.”

Patty sighed and turned to the concierge. “Can I get a list of shops in the area?”

The woman offered her the information with a sympathetic smile. “I’d avoid the first two, selection isn’t that great, but you should be good with the rest.”

Patty smiled. “Thank you, we’ll be back in a few minutes for those room keys.”

The woman winked. “They’ll be waiting.”

Holtz tilted her head at the woman and looked back and forth between she and Patty.

When they loaded the car, Abby and Erin situated themselves in the back and Patty was trailed by Holtz in returning with their room keys.

Holtz stopped Patty just before they reached the car and looked up at her with one of her usual inquisitive stares. She pointed back with her thumb. “That lady was flirting with you.”

Patty cocked her head to the side. “Yeah, baby, it happens.”

Holtz nodded and bowed her head slightly. “Understandable.”

Patty felt like there was more she wanted to say. “What’s wrong?”

Holtz shook her head and waggled her eyebrows. “Nothing. Come on, we have a mission.”

They reached the suggested shopping mall and Patty made a mental note to thank the concierge; it was perfect.

A hardware store sat at the edge of the strip and Holtz turned toward it as they got out of the car.

“Baby, wait,” Patty called but Holtz ran toward her destination.

“Don’t worry, Patty, I know her sizes,” offered Abby.  

Patty nodded and opened the door for her remaining two friends.

* * *

_20 hours earlier_

Patty was glad she opted for a couple of dresses because the hotel’s restaurant seemed to have a dress code. They almost refused Holtzmann due to her jeans (she argued for a bit that at least she’d worn a vest) but a quick call to the manager had them bending the rules.

They were seated in a booth; Patty and Holtz on one side, Erin and Abby on the other.

Patty took the opportunity to smile at her clueless friends as they all perused their menus. Abby hadn’t been able to stop staring at Erin in the red dress Patty suggested. Abby was dressed nice too in a royal blue blouse and dress pants. Erin kept giving her a once over. Patty sighed and really hoped they got their act together.

A gentle elbow nudge interrupted her musing. Holtz was staring at a point on Patty’s shoulder as Patty turned.

“What’s up, baby?”

Holtz let out a long sigh and turned slowly to look up at Patty. “You look stunning.”

Patty felt her cheeks warm again at the twinkle in Holtz’s eyes. “Thank you.”

Holtz threw her a mischievous grin, her seriousness reaching its usual short time limit. “I’m going for steak and potatoes, what about you, sweet cheeks?”

It was a little after nine when they finished, and Patty suggested drinks in the casino.

In retrospect, she should have known better than to add a more eventful element to their night when her friends were used to sleep at nine after hot cocoa and X-files reruns. (Well, not Holtz; Patty wasn’t so sure she ever slept.)

Patty understood the concept that there existed a hidden party girl inside everyone but the person she least expected was Abby.

They all shared their usual round of drinks but then Abby suggested a couple rounds of shots, both of which Patty declined. Abby took it as an invitation to consume Patty’s discarded drinks. Then she decided dancing on the bar was a good idea. Holtz joined her, though Patty hadn’t seen her drink beyond her first beer.

Erin giggled as Abby dipped Holtz.

Patty shook her head. “I can’t with this.”

Erin gave Patty’s arm a gentle squeeze. “Oh come on Patty. We’re always…” she paused as she hiccuped, “telling her she doesn’t…” another hiccup, “have enough fun.”

Patty passed Erin some water. “Yeah, I guess.”

She let the bar dancing continue until Holtz jumped down and  Abby told the whole crowd she could breakdance on the bar.

Holtz and Patty escorted a still giggly Erin and stumbling Abby to their room. Patty handed Erin a bag of water bottles.

She quirked an eyebrow. “You sure y’all are gonna be ok?”

Abby tilted her head and pointed a wobbly finger at Patty. “Are you gonna be ok?”

Patty turned to Erin, who gave her a serious nod despite her giggling. “I’ve got it.”

Patty handed Erin the key and made sure they got in safe. She didn’t realize till she and Holtz ventured back downstairs, it was the wrong key.

* * *

“So somewhere between between putting Abby to bed early and this morning, we got married?”

Abby lifted her head then, only to immediately place it down again. She groaned and asked, “Married?”

Holtz nodded quickly even though Abby was faced away from her. “Yep. Me and Pats, bound together forever.”

Patty sighed. “Or at least till we figure out how to change it or if it's even legal.”

Erin bit her lip. “I don't know, Patty; it seems pretty real.”

Patty rubbed her hand over her face and groaned. “All I wanted was to have a good time.”

There was a shift beside her and she turned to see Holtz stiffen.

“I’m sorry.” Holtz moved her fork around the remains of her scrambled eggs.

The memory flashed in Patty's mind again of Holtz saying she’d marry her. The more Patty thought about the look she remembered, the more she realized Holtz had been sincere. It was a sweet gesture but how did it evolve from a thought to a reality?

Patty reached over and placed her arm around Holtz’s shoulder. Holtz relaxed just a little. “Obviously, we both did this baby. Nothing to apologize for.”

Holtz nodded slowly.

Erin managed to get Abby to sit up long enough for some water and nodded toward her other two teammates as they finished their breakfast. “How about we pack up the rooms and you two hunt for some painkillers and we head home?”

Patty nodded.

* * *

When they arrived home, still sore, exhausted, and confused, Patty grabbed her laptop and headed toward her office. She figured she would face this whole marriage thing with one of the tools she utilized so well; research.

From what she could see, there was no way their license was legitimate unless they’d been able to unlock city hall that evening and bypass some of the ID requirements. Had they done that? She shook her head and cursed being unable to remember.  

When she felt her eyes strain from staring at the screen and her back ache from being hunched over, Holtz drifted in with what looked like a pile of junk. Patty knew better than to judge one of Holtz's creations too quickly. She might not know what it was, but by the end of Holtz's tinkering, she knew it would make sense.

Holtz nodded toward her computer. "Whatcha up to, wifey?"

Patty found that while the endearment spoke to this odd clusterfuck of a situation, she didn’t mind it much.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "Trying to figure out how the hell we managed a wedding bypassing all the rules."

Holtz waggled her eyebrows. "It's because our love is epic." She put her invention down and made a sweeping gesture with her arms. "A tale for the ages."

Patty scoffed. "Yeah, it's so incredible we can't even figure out how it happened."

Holtz lowered her arms and faced Patty with a pout. "Why would you doubt it, Pats?"

"Baby, can you really stand there and tell me that don’t none of this bother you?"

Holtz shrugged. "Why would it?"

Patty took a long look at Holtz and realized she shouldn’t really be surprised. Holtz was a woman who didn’t even flinch at the appearance of ghosts. It would make sense this wouldn’t rattle her. Patty, though, couldn’t help feeling like her world had just turned upside down.

Holtz pointed to her laptop. “Hey, all work and no play makes Patty tired and cranky.”

Patty chuckled at that. “Alright then, what do you suggest?”

Holtz hopped up on the cushion next to her and pulled her legs up so she could rest her cheek on her knees as she faced Patty.

She winked. “Movie night with your beloved? We could watch that steampunk documentary you’ve been _begging_ me to see.”

Patty rolled her eyes and sighed. “Sounds good.”

There was really no use in continuing her research anyway. If this was all true, an actual license would arrive in a few days and there wasn’t much she could do in the interim.

* * *

The next morning they were greeted by Jennifer Lynch perched on the edge of Kevin's desk. The receptionist, of course, was nowhere in sight.

She sighed as they came in. “You ladies do realize there is more to my job than bailing you out.”

Erin tilted her head. “When have you ever-”

Jennifer held up a hand. “No need to thank me. I've already gathered what the public knows about your little elopement.”

Patty crossed her arms. “Whoa, wait what?”

Jennifer shrugged. “You could have picked a better destination than Jersey, but no matter.”

Patty narrowed her eyebrows. “They think we eloped?”

Jennifer raised her eyebrows. “Oh, they know you did. My phone has been ringing off the hook this morning--and while it’s usually the mayor confused about shampooing and conditioning his hair--it was local news outlets and gossip magazines. They were asking to get in touch with…” She paused as she lifted her hands in air quotes, “ _the ghost-busting wives_. Naturally, I acted like I knew what the hell they were talking about.”

Patty ran a hand over her face. “I can’t believe this.”

Jennifer nodded. “Well, believe it, honey, because you have your first interview in five days.”

“But they’re getting an annulment,” offered Erin.

Jennifer stood up. “Oh no, no, no, you aren’t. This is good press and you can’t just wait around for the next near-apocalypse for this kind of attention.”

“Oh, lord,” muttered Patty. She wished the floor would open up and swallow her whole. Where was an apocalyptic vortex when you actually needed one?

Jennifer crossed her eyebrows. “Did you really not think about this?”

“We can’t even remember how it happened,” said Patty as Holtz gave a noncommittal shrug.

“How long?” asked Abby.

“How long what?” Jennifer tilted her head and placed her hands on her hips.

Abby gestured between Patty and Holtz. “Do they have to pretend?”

“Oh, I’d say a few months at least. Then the press will move on to the next big thing.”

Patty sat down on a stool and placed her head in her hands. Erin and Abby looked at each other, communicating in that quiet way they always did.

Holtz leaned against the table where Patty sat and crossed her arms. She gave an affirmative nod.

“We’ll do it.”

Patty lifted her head and crossed her eyebrows as she looked over at Holtzmann.  

Holtz winked at her and adjusted her glasses. “Come on, Pats, it’s not a big deal.”

All of the reasons why it was a very big deal flashed in Patty’s mind but she found herself offering a muttered, “Fine.”

* * *

After Jennifer left, they all gathered in the kitchen while Erin made some more coffee.

“How did the press even find out?” wondered Erin.

Patty pulled out her phone which chimed more than usual and was greeted with emailed links from her aunt with a subject heading of _Married? What?_

She opened it and found an expose on what was deemed a “modern fairytale”. She lifted the screen up and sighed. “Believe it.”

Erin bit her lip and she threw patty a sympathetic smile.

It wasn't long before they were all gathered around the table with fresh coffee.

“Holtz, are you sure about this?” asked Abby as she furrowed her brow in concern.

Patty knew she shouldn’t be offended but it hurt to have Abby ask so many times (four and counting). As if the thought of she and Holtz in a relationship was the most unbelievable thing she’d ever heard.

Holtz flicked a coin in the air. “‘Bout what?”

Patty sighed. “This marriage thing, baby.”

Holtz lifted her glasses and looked from Abby to Patty. The openness of her expression as she spoke directly to Patty, reminded Patty of the look she wore when she vowed _Of course I would_.

Holtz nodded simply. “Yeah.”

 _Here we go_ , thought Patty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this is the first time you're reading a multichapter story of mine, this is where I tell you that I do not post uncompleted stories. This will have at least weekly updates as it's mostly done. Thank you for reading and feel free to come chat with me on tumblr.


	2. Every Time that I come near her

> _Though I've tried before to tell her_
> 
> _Of the feelings I have for her in my heart_
> 
> **_Every time that I come near her_ **
> 
> _I just lose my nerve_
> 
> _As I've done from the start_

 “Every Little Thing She Does”~The Police

_Holtz adjusted her tie and cleared her throat. What the hell was taking so long?_

_Erin offered her a smile as she entered with Abby. “She’s right behind us.”_

_She smoothed her hands (which were oddly sweaty) against her new jacket._

_The side door opened and Patty entered. Holtz felt the air slip out of her lungs like a deflating balloon. It was no secret (at least not to Holtz) that Patty was beautiful but the way she looked now was like a living, breathing dream come true. A dream not unlike the many Holtz had lately of Patty. Here Patty was, moving toward Holtz in a gorgeous, flowy white dress that bounced as she walked, about to promise herself to Holtz forever._

_Holtz looked up at Patty as she stopped in front of her. She scanned Patty’s face for any sign of doubt, or hesitation. She found none as Patty beamed at her._

_Patty gave her a wink as she asked. “You ready, baby?”_

_Holtz didn’t realize it was possible to feel so happy and terrified all at once. She nodded and by some miracle found her voice. “Since the day I met you, Pats.”_

_When the judge started the ceremony, a weird piercing noise erupted in the room._

_Holtz reached for Patty's hand and-_

“HOLTZ!”

Holtz shot up and shook her head. She recognized Abby's voice but it took a minute to realize she was in her lab.

After she fumbled for her glasses, she realized Abby was putting out a fire.

Abby sighed when she finished. “Hey, what did I say about falling asleep with your flammable experiments near?”

Holtz rubbed her face. “Do it every so often to help keep your emergency skills fresh?”

Abby rolled her eyes and placed the extinguisher on the table. “Could you just try a little harder?”

Holtz shrugged. “Alright.” She tilted her head up toward the ceiling and noticed the sunlight streaming in from the small windows at the top of the walls surrounding her lab. “What time is it?”

Abby pointed to her watch. “Around noon. We have a bust in a couple of hours. Erin is out with Patty getting lunch.”

Holtz nodded. She hadn’t spoken much with Patty since they watched that documentary the other night. She had the distinct feeling Patty might be ignoring her. Every time this marriage thing came up, Patty looked so worried.

Their marriage license arrived the day before and Holtz didn’t miss the look of disappointment on Patty’s face as she read it and declared it completely legal.

Holtz thought her dream might be a memory but if Patty had looked so happy, why was she so upset now? Holtz shook her head, knowing trying to figure out the complexity of feelings would take her forever and she had work to do.  

She looked at her table and saw that she needed to finish a couple grenades and fix Patty’s ghost chipper. If she wanted to be done in time for the bust, she needed to start soon.

She picked up one of the grenades as Abby eyed her curiously. When she felt her friend’s stare last a little too long, Holtz lowered her glasses and turned toward her. “What?”

Abby fiddled with the edge of her cardigan. “How are you doing with everything?”

Holtz quirked an eyebrow and gestured toward her table. “Well, I just started so I’m behind?”

Abby shook her head. “No, everything with Patty. I mean, can you believe this?”

Holtz pulled her glasses back up, bent her head down, and completed her wiring. “I don’t know.”

The questioning made her uncomfortable. She wished she could remember, especially if her dream was a memory. It felt so right and honestly who wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of the kind of look Patty had given her? There were few occasions in Holtz’s life beyond science that ever felt like they made sense. That moment with Patty seemed so vivid and she wanted nothing more than for it to be true. Not that she cared much about marriage but the thought of being with Patty in a romantic capacity was something that greatly appealed to her.

Abby seemed to sense her unease and redirected to their work. “So you think you can get done in time?”

Holtz raised an eyebrow as she looked back up at Abby. “Why would you even doubt me, Dr. Yates?”

Abby laughed. “O.K., I’ll yell when there’s food.”

Holtz nodded as Abby left and tried to focus on her work rather than the swirling thoughts and images of Patty and their mystery of a wedding.

* * *

Holtz high fived Abby as the ghost trap closed. The buzz of a job well done vibrated throughout her body.

Erin smiled after her own high five with Patty and she addressed all of them. “Great job, guys.”

“Celebration cheesesteaks?” asked Holtz.

Patty smiled for the first time that day. “That’s a great idea, baby.”

They exited the school to a small crowd cheering for them--not a rare occurrence after a bust. Holtz figured they were the usual group of paranormal groupies and threw them a salute. She noticed Patty pause in front of her though and that’s when Holtz saw the sign.

There were a couple of teenagers that held it. It read _We love Patty + Holtzmann_ in purple and green respectively.

Holtz stopped beside Patty and looked up at her for clarification. Patty looked just as confused as Holtz felt.

One of the girls looked as if she could be Patty’s younger twin and adjusted her glasses. “Hi,” she said softly.

Patty smiled and angled herself toward the girl. “Hey there.”

The other girl jumped a little, her brunette ponytail bouncing. “We just wanted you to know you’ve kinda always been our favorites. We, um,” she paused as she looked at her companion. The small Patty-lookalike nodded. The girl continued, “We’re just really excited you’re happy together.”

Holtz tilted her head at the teenagers, and Patty took a long pause before she looked over at Holtz then back to the girls.

Patty gestured between Holtz and herself. “Would y’all like a picture, autograph, or something?”

Holtz didn’t normally like getting too close to their fans but the girls looked so pleased and there was something about the brunette that reminded Holtz of herself so she moved next to her as the other girl took out her phone for a picture of the four of them.

The young Patty bowed her head a little, her glasses slipping. She righted them as she asked, “Can we get one of you two together?”

“Right-o,” answered Holtz then immediately looked up at Patty, hoping she hadn’t given the wrong answer.

Patty nodded and bent down a little so it would be easier to frame both of them in the picture. It was something Holtz had seen her do frequently. Holtz briefly glanced at Patty and noticed her cheek was positioned in a perfect location to be kissed. Holtz did so right after one of the girls asked if they were ready. The brunette clapped happily.

“Holtz, Patty, we gotta go!” shouted Abby.

The girls thanked them in unison as they both scrawled their signatures on their sign. Holtz winked at them and Patty gave them a soft smile.  

* * *

When they returned to the firehouse with cheesesteaks and milkshakes, Patty gently took Holtz’s arm and pulled her into her office.

Patty closed the door slowly and turned to Holtz with her hands on her hips.

Holtz winked. “Want me all to yourself?”

Patty paused for a minute as if she were really considering it. Though Holtz was joking, it caused a thrill to spread through her and a hope that Patty might answer in the affirmative.

Patty shook her head and peered down at Holtz. “Why did you kiss me?”

Holtz quirked an eyebrow. “When?”

Patty moved her hands from her hips as she crossed her arms. “When we took that picture?”

_Because I wanted to_ , thought Holtz. _Because I always want to_.

Holtz racked her brain for a reasonable explanation. “Isn’t that a married thing? Cheek kisses?”

Patty looked at her for a moment with an expression Holtz couldn’t quite read, then nodded. “Yeah, it is.”

Patty sighed and moved to her desk chair while Holtz turned to face Patty’s new position.

“Did I do something wrong, Pats?”

Patty looked up at her, confused as if she forgot in the last second Holtz was there, and gave Holtz a gentle smile. “No, baby. I guess I’m just still trying to figure out what we’re doing here. Ain’t too many times in my life I can’t remember and I’m still processin’ this.”

Holtz thought it must be nice to have a memory that operates in a linear fashion. She thought of her dream and wondered if she should share it.

Patty played with the edge of one of her paper and sighed. She got up from her chair and gave Holtz’s arm a gentle squeeze. “Let’s get cleaned up and back to those milkshakes before they melt.”

Holtz nodded and followed Patty out of the office.

* * *

_Two days later_

Holtz bit her lip as she screwed in the final bolt, the alarm reminder sounding somewhere near her table. She waited a few minutes before she silenced it and went in search of Patty.

She found her in their bathroom with her hair pinned and a purple dress on. She sidled up to the counter and turned as she hopped up and faced Patty.

Holtz gestured toward Patty’s makeup box. It was full of colors and things Holtz didn’t think she’d know what to do with in a million years.  “Your bag of tricks?”

Patty shrugged. “You could call it that.” She applied some purple eyeshadow, a perfect match to her dress then took a proper look at Holtz. “You just gonna wear any old thing, ain’t you?”

Holtz pouted and pulled at the edge of her vest. “You said you liked this. That it made me look dapper.”

Patty winked. “I know, I’m just messin with you, Holtzy.”

Holtz felt the familiar rush in her veins that happened any time Patty was pleased with her. She waggled her eyebrows. “Good one, Pattycakes.”

Patty paused as she lifted her lip gloss tube. She turned to Holtz with a look that suggested Holtz really needed to pay attention so she stopped twirling Patty’s eyebrow curler and looked up at her.

“We can stop this at any time, baby. I know it’s complicated with the press but I don’t want to force somethin’ that makes you uncomfortable.”

This constant reassurance confused Holtz. Other than the prospect of these weird interviews, not much had changed for the two of them in the past few days. It’d been much less baffling than the day they’d married and the one that followed. It felt like their usual routine again. Patty still insisted death was not something to court and Holtz argued that the pursuit of innovation was always worth any supposed danger.

Holtz winked and pointed to herself. “Getting tired of the old ball and chain already?”

Patty looked...scared? Upset? Holtz couldn’t really find the word for it but she hadn’t laughed like Holtz hoped she would.

Holtz nodded toward Patty. “Listen, I’m fine with calling this shindig off if you want.” She hopped off the counter and nudged Patty’s hip with her own. “But I like people thinking you’re my gal.”

That earned her a small laugh and an eyeroll. Holtz would take it.

Patty quirked an eyebrow. “Your gal?”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “My woman, my main squeeze, my girl Friday, my wifey, my lover, the Bonnie to my Clyde…”

Patty closed her lip gloss and tossed it in her box, clasping the top. “Alright, baby, let’s get this over with.”

They headed to the car the station sent them. Erin and Abby offered hesitant smiles as they waved their goodbyes.

* * *

Holtz paced the green room as they waited for their interview. Patty in her foresight remembered to bring a book but Holtz couldn’t convince her to let Holtz bring her latest creation, claiming it was too big.

Holtz started to tap her legs with her hands. After a few minutes, an object flew in front of her. She looked down to find a rubic’s cube. Instead of the usual array of colors, it was marked with elements of the periodic table. She picked it up and looked back at Patty.

Patty didn’t look up but Holtz noticed the corners of her mouth tilt up silently. “All you had to do was ask.”

Holtz plopped down next to her and went to work on the cube. She’d managed to come close to solving it when someone rapped on their door and let them know it was time.

Holtz handed Patty her cube and Patty threw it in her purse.

She threw Holtz a reassuring smile. “You ready, baby?”

Holtz thought briefly of her dream (or memory--she still hadn’t settled on if it was both). “Yeah.”

Patty took her hand. “Remember, just follow me.”

_Anywhere,_ thought Holtz.

She nodded and they made their way to their seats. The interviewer was an excited young woman and Holtz found her energy a comfort. Holtz slung her arm behind Patty on the interview couch and noticed Patty smile at the gesture. The interview progressed in a much more enjoyable way than Holtz expected.

After Patty answered a question about when they met, Chelsea (that was her name right?) turned to Holtz and asked, “How do you like married life?”

“Love it, not all that different than pre-married life.”

Holtz noticed Patty gave her a curious glance out of the corner of her eye and she worried for a moment she’d answered wrong.

Chelsea nodded though. “Yes, my husband and I didn’t feel very different in those first few weeks either.” She flipped a notecard and asked, “What do you think of your fan club?”

Holtz tilted her head and looked at Patty. Patty shrugged a little. “We love them.” Holtz hoped her answer sounded confident.

Chelsea smiled. “We have a picture you recently took with two young members. Do you remember these two?”

The picture of the teenagers from their latest bust popped up on a screen in front of them.

Holtz smiled when she saw it. “Those young cats were at our bust.”

Chelsea nodded. “They run the Patty and Holtz fan club.”

Patty arched an eyebrow. “They run it?”

Chelsea smiled. “Looks like they were being humble when they met you. Yes, this is Jessika and Kelly. They’ve been having a little trouble at their schools after coming out and they told our station that your love story gave them hope.”

Holtz felt a curious tug at her heart. She couldn’t recall a time where anyone looked up to her, much less a time someone had hope because of her. Sure, they had fans of their ghost busting, young paranormal research wannabes but they usually looked at the team as a whole. She glanced over at Patty and saw tears in her eyes. She reached out for Patty’s hand.

Patty gave her a squeeze as she stated, “We’re glad they feel that way.” She turned to the camera. “If you two are watching, feel free to drop by HQ any time.”

Chelsea offered them another smile as someone waved at her behind the camera. “Alright, I’m afraid we’re running out of time. Thank you both for being here and working hard to keep our city safe.”

They shook her hand and headed out.

* * *

When they arrived back at the firehouse, Holtz headed up the stairs and left Patty to chat with the others.

The interview left her a little off kilter and she desperately needed lab time.

The hours ticked by as she soldered, wired, and demolished in her usual fashion, fueled by 80s hits and the drive to build. It was late when she looked up at a knock at her door.

Patty leaned in the doorway with a takeout bag. She had that determined look on her face that both thrilled and slightly terrified Holtz.  "We should talk."

Holtz pointed her index finger at her. "Talk is cheap."

Patty stepped in a little closer and pinned Holtz with an expectant glare. “Well, this food wasn’t, so I’m gonna say an exchange is in order.”

Holtz tilted her head. She dropped what she was working on. “I can get with that.”

They ate in silence for a while before Patty spoke. “So, I figure, we should set some ground rules.”

Holtz frowned. Rules were so overrated and she was never happy with these kind of discussions.

“Pats, I already agreed nothing radioactive past my doorway. What more do you want from me?”

Patty rolled her eyes. “First of all, the fact that I had to make that rule is still troubling, but that’s not what I was talkin’ about.”

Holtz took a sip of water and whined, “I haven’t pulled a prank on Kevin in a week. That’s _gotta_ be a record.”

Patty laughed at that. “Yeah, and I’m proud of you for that, but it’s also not what I want to talk about.”

Holtz closed her food container and shrugged. “Well, let’s stop with all the mystery, Pats.”

Patty took a sip of her drink and leaned on the table with her forearms. “Since we gotta sell this married thing, we probably need to do more couple things.”

Holtz swallowed some noodles and quirked an eyebrow as she looked up. “Like what?”

Patty shrugged. “Well, like holding hands in that interview and that cheek kiss you did for that picture. I think it’ll probably have to be more eventually.”

Holtz crossed her eyebrows. “More?”

She was still trying to understand the point of this conversation when everything Patty mentioned had really just been instinctual. It seemed like they were already on the right track so why the need to clarify?

Patty sighed. “I got an e-mail from Jennifer that we need to liven things up. Apparently, someone took a photo of us gettin’ food a couple days ago and we were too far apart. She wants someone to catch us kissin’ or something.”

Holtz raised her eyebrows. That was something she could definitely be on board with. “OK.”

Patty peered at her for a moment. Holtz recognized this calculated look and tried to figure out if she’d done something wrong.

Patty shook her head and dropped her fork. “Is there ever a line for you? Any point where this is too much?”

Holtz thought for a moment. The prospect of more TV interviews wasn’t her favorite nor was she too keen on answering anything unrelated to their work. When she thought about it though, she wasn’t uneasy. Nothing seemed like something she couldn’t handle. She knew it was mostly due to Patty’s presence. She trusted her and even though none of this really made sense, the ease she felt with Patty always did.

“Not really.”

Patty reached over and took Holtzmann’s hand. Her eyes were soft. “I know we go about things differently but it would help if I knew what was going on in that head of yours. I just don’t want…” she slipped her hand from Holtz’s. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. It’s a weird-ass situation, you know?”

Holtz nodded and patted Patty’s forearm. “Nothing could ruin us, Pats.”

Patty smiled but Holtz saw something shift in her gaze. She wished she knew how to make Patty feel better but she wasn’t completely sure why this was so distressing in the first place.

She decided to ask something she’d wondered during breakfast the day after their nuptials. “Is it me? Like, would it be better if it was Abby or Erin?”

Patty inclined her head as she glanced at her. “What?”

Holtz shrugged. “I know it’s not easy with me sometimes, all the things you need to explain, all my crazy ideas.” She took a deep breath and continued, “You can tell me you know, if it’s me, if you’re embarrassed or whatever. I can take it.” She puffed out her chest a little at the end of her statement.

When Patty didn’t answer immediately, Holtz sighed a little and moved her food, grabbing a wire to strip as she waited for Patty to speak again. It felt like a century before she did and Holtz worried that all her musings might be true. That it wasn’t so much the situation Patty found worrisome but the thought of it being Holtz herself, someone Patty probably wouldn’t pick in a million years.

She felt Patty reach for her forearm and squeeze. “It ain’t you, baby. It really ain’t. This is just a really odd situation. I want to make sure we’re good. Shit like this can get all mixed up and I feel like it’s easier if we on the same page.”

Holtz nodded. “What page is that?”

She expected Patty to roll her eyes or scoff at Holtz’s need to clarify Patty’s statement.

Patty did neither and just smiled. “We friends and we’re in this together.”

Holtz winked and showcased her wedding ring. “Together forever.”

Patty nodded and lifted up her own ring. “Apparently.”

* * *

By the time of their third interview, Holtz had the rhythm down but still found the process not only exhausting but boring. Why did people _care_ so much about when they met? Why did they want to know about who proposed to who?

She wandered into Patty’s office just as Patty finished her hair.

Patty had her braids pinned in a low bun and her earrings were just small diamond studs. Holtz found it a little curious, as if Patty was trying to mute herself or emulate someone else.

Holtz realized she looked like that one picture she'd seen of Patty's mom. Her mom was perched on a bench with Patty asleep on her lap and a wide brim hat. Holtz liked the picture because she looked so warm like Patty and so serene in a way that made Holtz feel steady.

Patty placed a hand on her shoulder and Holtz realized she’d gotten lost in her thoughts. Patty offered one of her usual smiles.  "OK, baby?"

"Yeah."

She wanted to tell Patty how pretty she was, how she looked like her mom. She had a strange feeling Patty would be pleased by that but they were tucked in the back of a car with Jennifer Lynch before she thought of a way to say it and it was definitely not a moment that felt like it should be public.

Jennifer looked down at her phone. “Looks like you’re doing a good job. You get a two week break after this one till the next interview. Those teenagers will be there so this will be gold in terms of a fluff piece.”

Patty nodded. “Who is the interview in two weeks?”

Jennifer sighed. “Adam Leech.”

Patty’s eyes widened and Holtz tilted her head. She had no idea who that was but by the look on Patty’s face, she felt like she should be concerned.

Jennifer nodded. “I know, I know, but he has a significant viewer base so we had to accept.”

Patty rolled her eyes. “Just throwin’ us to the wolves, Jen.”

Jennifer shifted in her seat and pursed her lips. “It’s not the first time you’ve had to deal with someone like him, Patty, and if you can refrain from punching him in the nose like Dr. Gilbert, you’ll be fine.”

Holtz raised her eyebrows and cast a sideways glance at Patty. Patty balled her fist for a moment before she relaxed. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

Holtz knew if she could read the lie in that, Patty must be pretty anxious. She decided to  ask Patty about it later (when she could tell her about the looking warm and gentle like her mom).  

She nudged Patty’s shoulder with her own. “I bet Patty Jr. will be happy to see you.”

Holtz noticed the tension leave Patty’s shoulders as she turned to her. “You know, you should probably call that precious child by her actual name.”

Holtz shrugged. “Nah, Patty Jr. is so much better than Kelly.”

Patty rolled her eyes but the light in them told Holtz she was more amused than mad.

Jennifer sighed. “As much as your bickering thrills me, we need to get back to your talking points.”

Patty nodded and Holtz zoned out while they reviewed the importance of mentioning the Ghostbusters’ internship program.

A two week break! Holtz couldn’t wait. All of this was starting to drain her more than any all nighter she’d ever pulled.

* * *

They weren’t alone in the green room this time; Kelly and Jessika were perched on the edge of the couch when they entered. They looked up and Holtz wondered if they’d interrupted something important.

Patty smiled and walked up to them. “Good to see you again, girls.”

Both of them stood, Kelly with her shy smile and Jessika nearly bursting with energy.

Jessika reached out to shake Patty’s hand. “We’re so excited.”

Kelly nodded in agreement as Patty shook Jessika’s hand.

“Y’all in school right? Junior year of high school?” asked Patty as they all resettled on the couch.

Holtz opted for the arm of the couch. She didn’t have much in the way of experience with children. She’d had a couple interns through their outreach program but she tended to get the college students who already had the basics of engineering so she never had to bother much with small talk.

Jessika nodded. “Yeah, we’re actually top of our class.” She patted Kelly’s hand, which prompted Kelly to smile softly.

“Well, that’s impressive,” offered Patty.

Kelly cleared her throat and turned to Holtz as she adjusted her glasses. “I want to be an engineer like you, Dr. Holtzmann.”

That surprised Holtz a little, considering she’d been associating Kelly so much with Patty.

Holtzmann tilted her head. “Well, there’s not many like me, kiddo.”

Kelly bowed her head slightly and hunched her shoulders, curling in on herself. _Shit_ , thought Holtz. She recognized that stance. She’d hurt the kid. She shook her head and sighed, trying to find a good way to recover but couldn’t think of one.

Luckily, Patty came to her rescue. She lowered her head slightly to meet Kelly’s eyes. “She just means you should be like you. If there’s one thing Dr. Holtzmann values, it’s bein’ yourself.”

Kelly brightened a little at that.

“You build anything yet?” asked Holtz. She was glad Kelly didn’t flinch or look any more disappointed.

Instead, Kelly looked directly at her and moved her hands excitedly as she explained her latest project.

“I took apart my brother’s old remote control cars, fused together the physical parts and rewired them to build a robot that grabs things off a shelf.”

Holtz moved to high five her and Kelly smiled as she returned the high five.

Holtz winked. “That’s rad. You know I could teach you how to rewire some old car parts to-”

She was interrupted by a knock at the door. It was time for their interview.

As they walked, she heard Patty whisper to Kelly, “Make sure you clear any future projects with Dr. Holtzmann with me first.”

Holtz poked her and stuck out her tongue as she whispered, “Spoilsport.”

Kelly and Jessika just giggled.

* * *

Patty and Holtz dropped by their usual deli on the way back for some sandwiches. Holtz was startled a little when Patty bent to whisper in her ear.

“Looks like we got some paparazzi in the window. Ready for a show, baby?”

Holtz wasn’t exactly sure what to say since Patty’s whisper caused some curious tingling in her toes. She nodded.

Patty handed her their food then took Holtz’s face in her hands and pressed her lips against Holtz’s.

Holtz dropped the bag, unsure for a moment what to do.  When her brain finally processed the fact that Patty’s lips were indeed on hers doing the one thing she’d wanted for a while now, she responded in kind.

She brought her hands to Patty’s arms and tried to press herself closer. She felt Patty smile against her lips which just increased Holtz’s desire to get as near as possible. Patty leaned down a little more which gave Holtz the ability to link her hands behind Patty’s neck. She ran her thumbs along the edges of Patty’s chin and applied some gentle pressure, causing Patty to open her mouth a little.

A low whistle sounded behind them and Patty slowly pulled up and released her. She gave Holtz a curious look that she covered quickly with a smile and picked up their food.

Holtz nodded and followed Patty out of the deli. As Patty took Holtz’s hand with her free one, Holtz heard a camera snap behind them. Patty squeezed her hand.

She linked her arm in Patty’s and leaned her head against Patty’s upper arm.

“Good job, baby,” whispered Patty.

Holtz felt her heart drop a little. Despite the reminder of the camera snap, she’d forgotten for just a moment that this wasn’t supposed to be real.

* * *

When they strolled into the firehouse, Patty dropped her hand and Holtz missed the contact immediately.

She winked at Patty as she grabbed her sandwich. “You’re not a bad kisser, Pats.”

Patty startled for a moment, then shrugged. “Did you ever doubt me, Holtzy?”

“Never,” said Holtz. Patty smiled in that small way she sometimes did when she was especially pleased. Holtz bit into her sandwich and asked, “How ‘bout me?”

Patty threw her a napkin. “How ‘bout you what?”

“My lip lock skills?”

Patty gave a noncommittal nod. “It was decent.”

Holtz missed the slight upturn of Patty’s lips and countered, “Decent?”

Patty shrugged. “Could use work.”

Holtz never could resist a challenge and she knew Patty just threw her one. She narrowed her eyebrows and dropped her sandwich as she leapt at Patty. She pressed her lips against Patty’s while taking Patty’s face in her hands. She stroked Patty’s cheek as she tilted her own head for a better angle. Patty responded quickly and moved her hands to Holtz’s waist. Holtz smiled against Patty’s lips and moved to press a kiss to Patty’s cheek as they parted.

Holtz didn’t miss Patty’s heavy sigh or the fact that Patty hadn’t let go of her waist. She winked up at Patty. “How ‘bout now?”

Patty licked her lips and nodded. “Better.”

Holtz moved out of her embrace and went back to her sandwich. Patty looked a little flustered as she returned to her sandwich. Holtz had a feeling that her desire for some of this to be real wasn’t completely one-sided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support and comments. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to come chat with me on tumblr.


	3. Everybody's Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Heads up, this is where some of the negative attention comes into play.

> **_Everybody's talking_ ** _how I can't be your love_
> 
> _But I want want wanna be your love_
> 
> _Want to be your love, for real_

“Be, Be Your Love”~Rachael Yamagata

_“Looks like I have a lot of cheesesteaks in my future,” commented Holtz as she nodded toward the bag of Patty’s winnings._

_Patty rolled her eyes. “You know, I don’t exist to pay for all your food.”_

_Holtz winked at her. “Of course I know that, Pats. You’re also smart and so very pretty.”_

_Patty scoffed as Holtz batted her eyelashes. “Flattery won’t help you here, baby.”_

_They passed a window display that caused Patty to stop. There was a beautiful white dress in the display that Patty knew would fall just under her knees and her arms would fill out the lace sleeves beautifully._

_Holtz let out a low whistle. “Bet you’d look killer in that, Pats.”_

_Patty winked at her. “You know it, baby.”_

_Holtz pointed to Patty’s purse. “Well, you got the cash, why don’t you get it?”_

_Patty quirked an eyebrow. “Holtzy, that’s a wedding dress.”_

_Holtz shrugged. “So?”_

_Patty rolled her eyes. “So, I’d have to be gettin’ married to wear it.”_

_Holtz paused for a moment then gestured between them. “Then let’s get married.”_

_Patty crossed her eyebrows. “How much have you had to drink, baby?”_

_Holtz checked her watch. “Nothing since two hours ago.” She tapped her chin with her finger. “Come to think of it, Pattycakes, neither have you. So whatta you say?”_

_“What do I say to what?”_

_Holtz kneeled in front of her. “Make an honest woman out of me?”_

_Patty rolled her eyes. “I know this is hard for you baby, but be serious.”_

_Holtz stared up at her and took her hand. Her expression was open and as much as Patty hated to admit it, sincere. “I am. Come on, Pats. Let me help you be a little less alone forever.”_

_Patty looked down at her and opened her mouth to speak. She heard the opening chords to Joni Mitchell and-_

Patty shot up in bed and tried to calm her racing heart as she silenced her alarm. She shook her head and rubbed her face. She’d had this dream three times in the last week and she never made it to her response.

She knew from the only photographic evidence she had that the dress in the window was the one she’d worn during the ceremony. Every time she had the dream, some small part of the time before they reached the dress would be revealed but they were only random fragments that had her no closer to understanding that evening.

The dreams were a welcome distraction from the other kind of dreams she’d been having lately. They usually involved she and Holtz sneaking off to various places, taking their recent public makeout sessions to varying new levels.

Patty had a whole plan before this. A plan that involved slowly (but explicitly because, bless Holtzy, but subtle was not her strong suit) introducing the idea of becoming more than friends. A plan that involved real dates and not just food runs. Nowhere in the plan had she anticipated a marriage and making sure they were believable enough to the citizens of New York.

Patty considered just asking Holtz about it but she’d drawn a line when she clarified that they were friends in this together and she wondered if crossing that line would be dangerous now.

Erin knocked softly at the door. “Hey, you ok?”

Patty gave her a small smile and nodded. “Yeah, yeah, just some weird dreams.”

Erin moved in and pointed at the space on the end of Patty’s bunk. Patty nodded as Erin sat and crossed her ankles

“Is it hard?”

Patty quirked an eyebrow. “Is what hard?”

Erin gestured with her hands at the empty air. “This whole thing, the press, the interviews.”

Patty shrugged. “It’s annoying more than anything. Frustratin’ having a night I can’t remember. I mean, damn, marriage is a big decision or at least, I always thought it was, and somehow I made it in one night.”

“Hmm.”

Patty wondered if she should tell her. She knew it would be easy if she could have at least one person to talk to about it, even if she wasn’t quite ready to hash it out with Holtz.

Patty sighed. “And it’s confusing.”

Erin tilted her head. “Confusing how?”

Patty ran a hand over her face and started to play with the stitching on her blanket. “Because I think I got some real feelings going on here.”

Erin lifted her eyebrows. “For Holtz?” Thankfully, her voice lacked the judgement her surprised expression implied.

Patty nodded. “Yeah.”

“What are you going to do?”

Patty sighed. “God, I wish I knew. I mean, we should get an annulment eventually though it might have to be a divorce by the time Jennifer is satisfied with the whole playin’ to the media.”

Erin nodded slowly. “And in the meantime?”

Patty shook her head. “Suffer in silence?”

Erin leaned forward and squeezed Patty’s hand then inclined her head. “You know, I’ve been thinking. You look so happy in that picture, there’s got to be a reason for that.”

“Hmm,” hummed Patty. “I just wish I knew more.”

“I know.” Erin stood up and patted Patty’s shoulder. “I made you some tea when you’re ready for breakfast.”

Patty smiled up at her. “Thanks, Erin.”

“Anytime.”

* * *

Patty was glad it was a research day. Diving into her books was such a welcome distraction from everything else and a comfort like nothing else.

She heard Holtz tinkering in her lab and her other teammates arguing over some equation in their office. It made things feel almost normal. _Almost._

Her phone chimed after a couple of hours. It was her friend Mylene.

_Girl, I go on a two week vacation and see you got MARRIED?!_

Patty sighed as she put down her book on old factory buildings. In all of the confusion, she’d forgotten to warn some of her friends about this. (She’d had a chat with her Dad, uncle and aunt, all of whom congratulated her before she could really explain the situation. Their joy was so beautiful that she couldn’t tell them the truth.)

_It’s complicated,_ she responded.

_Want to explain over lunch?_

Patty almost said no but she knew it would just encourage Mylene to come seek her out.

_Fine._

_Oh cheer up, Patty. I finally made the perfect penne._

Patty smiled at that and texted back a time. As she headed out an hour later, Holtz poked her head out of her lab.

“Are you getting food, Pats? I’m _dying_ here.”

Patty gave her a once over. “You look fine to me, baby.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “Like what you see Patricia?”

_That’s the problem_. Patty smiled. “I do and I’ll bring you something back. Erin just restocked the snacks so you should be good ‘till I get back.”

Holtz tilted her head and peered at her. “Sure you don’t want company?”

“Thanks, baby, but I’m meetin’ a friend.”

Holtz nodded and looked disappointed for a minute before she covered it with a smile. “See you on the flip side.”

Patty nodded. Curiosity about that first look still lingered but there wasn’t a good way to ask and she knew if Holtz was trying to cover it, she wouldn’t be so quick to explain it.

* * *

Patty knocked on the door of the kitchen and was greeted by Yolanda, Mylene’s sous-chef.

Yolanda smiled at her. “Hey, Patty, we haven’t seen your gorgeous face in a while.”

Patty smiled back. “Catchin’ ghosts is busy work.”

Yolanda opened the door a little wider. “I bet,” she commented as she ushered Patty in.

Mylene was shooting orders to her staff when Patty stepped into the chaos of the kitchen. She loved it here and she couldn’t help but be immensely proud of her friend who she’d seen rise up the ranks in various restaurants and finally own two of her own.

Mylene finally noticed her and walked over to hug her. She shook her head as Patty hesitated. “Don’t worry, I haven’t spilled anything on this one yet.”

Patty smiled and returned her embrace. “Where is this penne you promised me?”

Mylene squeezed Patty’s arm and pointed to a stool out of the way with a plate of penne. “Right here, now eat and tell me how you got married without me?”

Patty felt the same pang of guilt she’d had when her Dad asked why he hadn’t been at the ceremony either. This was just another thing in the list of reasons why she couldn’t figure out how she’d agreed to randomly get married one evening.

“It just happened so fast,” she said as she sat down.

“You don’t say,” said Mylene with that same imploring look in her eye she’d had when Patty tried to deny her crush on Jackson sophomore year of high school.

Patty took a bite of her lunch. “Damn girl, this just gets better and better.”

Mylene winked. “You always were my favorite.”

Patty ate for a few minutes, Mylene moving over to correct someone’s chopping or stirring.

She put her hands on her hips when she made her way back over to Patty. “So you gonna tell me how you ended up married?”

Patty threw a glance around the room but no one was really paying them any mind. She spoke in a low voice just in case.

“I can’t remember.”

“You can’t remember?” whispered Mylene.

Patty shrugged. “We were in Atlantic City on a job, and we stayed for a night at a hotel. Somewhere we managed to bypass all the normal requirements for a wedding license and sometime between eleven pm and seven am the next morning we got married.”

Mylene’s eyes widened. “And it’s legal?”

Patty nodded. “I got the license three days later and it has all the right information. We were gonna get it annulled but the press found out.”

“Shit,” muttered Mylene.

“Yeah.”

Mylene shrugged. “Well, at least you got the hot one.”

Patty crossed her eyebrows. “What now?”

“I’m just saying if I was gonna pick out of your crew, it’d be blondey.”

Patty chuckled and rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t surprise me; you always like the blondes.”

Mylene nodded. “Why you think I married Tina?”

Patty nodded and started to roll her fork around her food.

Mylene leaned on the counter. “What you worried about?”

Patty sighed. “It’s just frustrating not bein’ able to remember. I wish I knew what the tippin’ point was. Like I know at one point she joked about it but impulsive ain’t my style.”

Mylene shrugged. “Maybe it’s hers.”

Patty tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

Mylene patted her on the arm. “I love you, Patty, but sometimes you think too much. Maybe that night you were frustrated and wanted to do something spontaneous. Maybe you agreed ‘cause you knew it would shock everyone and let’s be real, you’re as predictable as they come. You could have just decided to live a little.”

Patty’s eyes widened a little. “But marriage? Really? I would have believed randomly sleeping together over that.”

Mylene startled. “I’m sorry, you nabbed a hot woman and y’all didn’t even have sex?”

Patty shook her head. “No, I mean she had my lipstick on her neck but nothing else. I also woke up with a hangover so I’m pretty sure I was too drunk.”

Mylene shook her head. “And nothing since?”

“My, we’re friends, I can’t go fucking that up.”

“Patty, you’re married, don’t you think you should enjoy some of the benefits? Plus you just said you would have believed sleeping with her. Don’t you want to?”

Patty shook her head. She did want that, but she wanted so much more. “We gotta keep things up for the press.”

Mylene crossed her arms. “That wasn’t my question.”

Yolanda yelled for help and Mylene pinned Patty with a look that indicated they weren’t in the least bit done.

Patty ate while Mylene helped Yolanda and prayed she’d be done in time to avoid more questioning. Mylene stopped her as she stood up. No such luck.

“Look, you do what you gotta do, girl, but don’t forget you got some feelings mixed up in this. Just be careful and don’t assume you didn’t want this on some level. Because why else would you have done it?”

Patty thought of Erin’s earlier comment, that there must be a reason Patty looked so happy in that picture. She nodded and Mylene handed her a bag from a table next to them.

“There’s something in there for everyone though I did pay extra attention to your wife’s dish.”

Patty pinned her with an unamused glare.

Mylene laughed. “Get used to it, you’re a married woman now. Nice ring by the way.” She pointed to Patty’s hand. “It’s what I always thought you’d wear.”

Mylene kissed her on the cheek as she ushered her to the back door. “I love you, ok? Whatever happens, you know I’m here.”

Patty smiled and nodded. “I know. Thank you.” She waved to Yolanda on her way out and headed back to the station.

* * *

Adam Leech’s name was apt. Patty felt like he looked like one of those guys who locks himself in his room for hours harassing people on the internet. There was also something else about him that felt so familiar but, much like her forgotten night of wedded bliss, when she tried to pinpoint the familiarity, her brain failed to make a connection.

She took a deep breath before stepping onto his interview set. Holtz was beside her, squeezing her hand. Patty realized her tension must be high if Holtz felt the need to reassure her.

The lights flooded her vision for a moment then they were cued to start.

Adam’s smile was more of a sneer as he greeted them. “Welcome, ladies! We’re so glad you’re finally here to talk about your whirlwind of a romance.”

He said _ladies_ like it was something to be ashamed of and Patty tightened the hand Holtz wasn’t holding. She felt Holtz move a little closer to her on the couch and she breathed a little easier.

“We’re so glad you could have us, Adam.”

“Now let’s dispel some recent rumors here. There are some people who say your marriage was just a publicity stunt. What do you have to say to that?”

Holtz squeezed her hand and Patty answered, “It’s not true. We just saw an opportunity to do what we’d talked about and it just felt like the time.”

Adam nodded and Patty could tell by the look in his eyes, he was getting ready to strike. She’s watched enough of his interviews to know she wasn’t going to like what came next.

“But wouldn’t you say the need to do it in private is like hiding? I mean, it just looks so suspicious.”

“People elope everyday, Adam. It’s a lot less stress and I think it’s kinda romantic.” Patty painted on a smile to keep from grimacing at his tone.

Adam turned to Holtz and Patty hoped he wouldn’t throw her anything she couldn’t handle.

“Dr. Holtzmann, what do you say to the people speculating that you don’t talk much during interviews because this relationship was forced on you?”

Holtz squinted at him. “Forced?”

He slowed his tone as if he were talking to a young child. “Yes, the people who think you signed a contract for this. That you were coerced for the good press.”

Holtz’s eyes widened. “There’s no funny business going on here, Adam.” She turned to Patty and took both of her hands in hers. “I love this woman, anyone should be able to see that.”

Patty smiled at the twinkle in Holtz’s eyes though her tone was a little dramatic. She let herself believe just for the moment that Holtz’s words were true.

Adam scoffed. “Yeah, but come on, really? Out of all the women you could have chosen?”

Patty reluctantly turned her gaze from Holtz’s and felt her blood boil. “And just what’s that supposed to mean?”

Adam sidetracked her question and looked past a camera at someone who was waving at him.

“I’m getting a signal that we have a caller with a question. You ladies up for answering?”

Patty cringed inwardly. This was the part that they were most concerned with. The part where Jennifer warned her not to lose it. She painted on that smile once more.

“Sure.”

Adam nodded. “Alright, we got Rebecca from Brooklyn on the line.”

A woman with a nasally voice spoke. “Yeah, I’m just wondering there, Dr. Holtzmann, what’s Patty even do for you? I mean look at her.”

Holtz inclined her head and rested her chin on her palm. “Listen Becky, I don’t catch your drift.”

“Um, it’s Re-bec-ca. And I mean, you’re attractive, what would you get from a woman who looks like Patty? She’s not even drunk pretty.”

Patty fought the urge to roll her eyes and share with Rebecca all the places she could shove her opinion.

“I think you might need to get your eyes checked there, Becky, because Pats here is gorgeous.”

Patty smiled at Holtz then, a real one, and Holtz beamed at her in return.

Adam almost groaned as he announced the next caller. “Aren’t you two sweet? We got Brad from Long Island on the line.”

“Yeah, look I can get with a band of dykes chasin’ after ghosts but I don’t understand how anyone could find that Patty woman hot.”

Patty noticed Holtz attempt to get up and stopped her with a gentle hand. She pinned her with a look that begged her to keep cool. Holtz balled her fists and Patty gave her a slight smile before she turned back to Brad.

“Well, Brad, you might change your mind about insultin’ people you don’t know when you got a class five apparition keepin’ you up at night,” commented Patty.

Holtz winked at her.

“Are you saying you’d deny service just because someone doesn’t like you?” asked Adam.

Patty took a deep breath. “You know I don’t like people twistin’ my words, Adam. What I’m sayin is people are always quick to judge till they’re in trouble.”

Adam nodded and looked unimpressed. “I think we have time for one more. This is Kelsey from Queens.”

“I just wanna say, Dr. Holtzmann, if you get bored with that giant there, you can always call me.”

That was it for Patty. She stood up and stalked off the stage. She already knew what Jennifer would say. She knew when she turned on her phone, there’d be an angry voicemail asking why she couldn’t just hold out one more minute.

Patty had a limit though, a limit to where she’d take this charade and being constantly berated by anonymous callers was it.

She saw Holtz look over at her, confused about what she should do. Patty felt guilty for not warning her, not working out some kind of signal but she couldn’t think of how to make it better now.

Adam turned to Holtzmann. “What do you say to that?”

Holtz kept her eyes on Patty and shrugged. “Looks like you’ll be waitin on that call forever, Kelsey.”

Patty managed a small smile which caused Holtz to wink at her.

“Well, I guess since we lost your other half. We’ll end it there. Congratulations on being able to last longer than your wife there, Dr. Holtzmann.”

Holtz just quirked an eyebrow as Adam turned to the camera. “Thanks for tuning in, we’ll be back with the news after these messages.”

Holtz ran over as soon as someone signaled she could. She gave Patty a once over and Patty tried her best to smile at Holtz’s concern. By the worried look on Holtz’s face, she realized she hadn’t done a very good job.

Before Patty could explain, Adam approached her. “You know it’s rude to just walk off on someone like that, but you can’t expect common ghetto trash to have manners.”

Patty considered ignoring Jennifer’s warning to not punch the guy for a moment. She sighed, knowing it would just fuel the fire he’d already ignited.

Holtz raised her arm, apparently considering the same thing as Patty but Patty stopped her.

She’d finally caught on to why he looked so familiar. Patty tilted her head. “You know, I was wonderin’ why your name sounded so familiar then I remembered my auntie and realized you’re David Leech’s boy.”

Adam actually looked scared for a moment.

Patty smiled politely as she continued, “Which means your mama sings in my aunt’s choir and I’m sure they would both be disappointed to learn you thought it was a good idea to diss the pastor’s niece on the local news.”

Adam swallowed hard. “You wouldn’t.”

Patty shrugged. “I don’t know. After all, I’m only common ghetto trash with no manners.”

She took Holtz’s hand and sauntered out of the room with more confidence than she actually felt.

Holtz squeezed her hand. “That’s my girl.”

* * *

Patty reached for her tablet when they returned but Erin moved to take it.

“You probably want to stay off the internet for a couple of days, at least as it pertains to this.”

Patty shook her head. “Erin, I’m a grown woman, I’m sure I can take it.”

Erin bit her lip and Patty felt a tug at her heart. It was sweet trying to shield her from this, especially from Erin who still worried so much about what other people thought.

“It’s not helpful,” offered Abby. She shook her head. “They’re all idiots who don’t know you.”

Patty threw her a small smile. She knew if any one of these fools had stupidly listed their location, Abby would be the first to fight them.

She turned to Erin. “What are they talking about?”

“They keep saying that there’s no way your relationship is real because why would someone who looks like Holtz want someone…” Erin paused and gave Patty a sympathetic look as she finished, “who looks like you.”

Patty sighed. “Well, that’s no different than those callers. Here, let me see.”

Erin finally relinquished Patty’s tablet. Patty flipped through the posts and cursed herself when she couldn’t resist looking at the comments. Taunts she’d heard her whole life seemed to scream at her. Assholes who said she was ugly, people comparing her to gorillas, and the complete lack of understanding that anyone would find her desirable.

She felt a familiar mix of anger and hurt start to flood her body as Abby gently took the tablet back. It wasn’t until Holtz ran a thumb under her eyes that she realized she was crying.

Her teammates looked at her with that mix of concern and complete confusion on what to do that she was also so used to.

She wanted to shrug it off. After all, she’d dedicated so many years to loving herself, so many years to reminding herself that weak minded fools couldn’t bring down Patty Tolan. There were days, though, when it was too much and as much as she didn’t want it to be, it seemed like today would be one of those.

She sniffled and whispered, “Excuse me, y’all.”

She heard Abby call after her but she needed some space and she ran up to her office.

* * *

She locked the door behind her, pulling down the blinds she never used. She flopped on her couch and pulled her blanket around her. It wasn’t that cold today but she needed to be enveloped in something familiar as the words of the interviewer and the articles swirled in her head.

Her phone chimed and she tried to ignore it. She didn’t know if sympathy would help or make it worse. She squeezed her blanket tighter and tried to calm her breathing as her heart raced and her eyes filled with tears.

She felt foolish for not seeing this coming. It was worse than being called frauds early in ghost busting. It was worse than being called delusional. These people didn’t even see her as a person and that hurt more than anything else.

She felt the weight of the day hit her all at once and she slipped into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

Patty woke to a light tapping on her arm. Holtz smiled as she knelt next to Patty’s couch. She bopped Patty on the nose as Patty sat up.

Patty rubbed her face. “Hey, baby, what’s up?”

Holtz stood up and bounced on her heels. She bowed as she offered a hand. “I have a surprise for you.”

Patty shook her head. “Look, Holtzy, I don’t feel much like goin’ out anywhere.”

Holtz tapped Patty’s nose. “Oh, we’re not going out, we’re going up.”

Patty tilted her head and Holtz leaned down to pull on her hand.

Patty paused and pleaded, “Really, baby, I don't think I'm up for anything.”

Holtz leaned forward and considered her for a moment. “No pushing here, the surprise can wait, but I do think the wind is right.”

Patty chuckled. “Half the time, I never know what the fuck you be talking about.”

Holtz just smiled. “It's just part of my charm.”

Patty nodded and realized her curiosity as to what this surprise entailed won out over her exhaustion.

She followed Holtz as she skipped up the steps two by two up toward the roof. When the reached the door, Holtz turned and threw up a hand to Patty’s face.

“Close your eyes, no peeking or you don’t get the surprise.”

Patty closed her eyes and felt Holtz drop her hand. “This better not be like the time you set Erin’s desk on fire.”

She heard Holtz mutter, “To be fair, she deserved it.”

Patty shook her head as she took a tentative step up. “Or the time your book organizing robot malfunctioned and took out my entire New York Architecture collection.”

Holtz paused. “Didn’t forget that, did you?”

Patty sighed. “That thing attacked me!”

Patty heard the door open and Holtz pulled her forward a few steps.

“OK, open!”

Patty cracked one eye open first then shot open the other one. Her name was displayed with colored post-it notes all over them. She could tell by the gaps that the letters were made with styrofoam.  

She stepped closer and the notes said things like

_Patty Tolan has the best smile._

_Patty is pretty._

_Anyone who can’t see Patty’s black girl magic is an idiot._

Patty turned to Holtz. “Where did this come from?”

Holtz smiled. “Kelly called me. She asked if she and Jessika could drop something off for you.”

Patty’s heart swelled. “Who wrote ‘em?”

“Our fan club. Erin and Abby even added a couple since the girls had extra post-its.” Holtz bounced around the Y. “I even contributed a few.”

Patty moved to read the spot where Holtz stopped. She recognized the three Holtz wrote in her barely legible scrawl.

_Patty’s eyes are like the stars._

_Patty’s giggles are like the combination of Soap, H_ _2_ _O and C_ _3_ _H_ _5_ _(OH)_ _3_

_Patty=the most gorgeous mix of atoms._

Patty turned her lips up into a soft smile. “What’s the chemistry combination make?”

Holtz beamed. “Bubbles, ” she held up a hand as she grabbed a bucket from behind her. “They’re purple and pink.”

Patty laughed softly. “Thought of everything didn’t ya?”

Holtz blow a bubble in her face. “I’m a great wife like that.”

Patty shook her head and rolled her eyes as Holtz blew another bubble toward her. “You are.”

“Glad we could agree, wifey.” She stuck a finger in the air. “Hey, that rhymed.”

Patty nodded as she grabbed a bubble ring. “It did.”

They played for a while, Holtz insisted she could blow the biggest bubble but was constantly outdone by Patty.

Patty moved to sit on the lawn chair she kept on the roof.

Holtz turned to her. “Giving up so soon?”

Patty shook her head. “Just need a minute.”

Those girls were incredibly sweet and Patty enjoyed Holtz’s attempt to cheer her up. It was however part of what made this all so hard. It was one thing to have to defend actual relationships she was in. The fact that the same amount of work was required in a fake one just made it all the more exhausting.  

Holtz plopped down next to her and lightly tapped the top of her head. “Whatcha thinkin’?”

Patty shrugged. “It was a long day.”

Holtz nodded and took her hand. “They’re wrong.”

Patty tilted her head. “Who?”

Holtz gestured to the city in front of them. “The callers, the internet. They got it all backwards.”

Patty narrowed her eyebrows. “What part?”

Holtz gestured between them. “You and me.”

“Hmm,” hummed Patty, at a loss to ask what she really wanted.

Holtz sighed. “I mean, who couldn’t want you? You’re like the person people dream about, Pats. You got brains, you’re funny, and...” Holtz held her fingers to her thumb and kissed her fingertips like a chef. “Your body is top notch.”

Patty felt her cheeks warm and she was reminded of that first fateful morning when Holtz couldn’t keep her eyes off Patty’s legs. Holtz's compliments spilled out like they were undeniable truths and Patty couldn't put into words how desirable it made her feel.

She smiled. “Well, thank you.”

Holtz shrugged. “Real question is, how could a catch like you pick me?”

She’s said it so casually, but Patty could hear the insecurity lining the comment.

Patty leaned forward and placed a hand on Holtz’s forearm.“I don’t know, baby. Your complete disregard for safety not withstanding, you pretty smart yourself, you’re more thoughtful than people give you credit for and,” she paused as she gave Holtz a once over, “you got a nice body.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows and asked in a low voice, “Like what you see, Pats?”

She peered down at Holtzmann, holding Holtz’s eyes with hers for a minute longer than usual. Here it was, the opening she needed, the place where she could actually get some of these feelings out.

Thus it was the best time for Erin and Abby to break the moment. They burst through the door and scanned the roof for them.

Patty sighed, this day was truly cursed.

Erin looked apologetic as she announced, “We have a bust.”

Holtz popped up first. “Let’s gear up.”

Patty got up slowly and smiled at the post it sculpture. She made a note to call the girls the next afternoon and she prayed that her cowardice would ebb soon and she could finally have a real talk with Holtz.

  



	4. Safe From the Guards

>   _Deep in my heart_
> 
> **_Safe from the guards_ ** _of intellect and reason_
> 
> _Leaving me at a loss_
> 
> _For words to express my feelings_

“For You”~Tracy Chapman

She wanted Patty to say yes. She realized it the moment the question flew out of her mouth. _Like what you see, Pats?_ Holtz didn’t want for much but, oh, how she wanted this.  

Holtz jumped in the front seat, ready to go, but for once, the prospect of catching ghosts wasn’t as distracting as it should be. Patty had all the signs: those hooded eyes, the lingering gaze, dilated pupils (those twinkle lights were such a useful addition to the roof). _Attraction_ and attraction that displayed itself in the company of just the two of them, no cameras, no nosy interviewers.

“Holtz, let’s go,” said Abby from the front seat.

Holtz looked back for Erin and Patty, catching Patty’s gaze in the rearview mirror. She winked at Patty, who rolled her eyes with that small, almost shy smile Holtz noticed more and more lately. _Yep_ , thought Holtz. _She wants me._

* * *

The bust was a tricky one. They split off in pairs; Abby and Holtz in one direction, Erin and Patty in the other.

Ordinarily, Holtz preferred to be paired with Patty but this at least helped her focus more on the task at hand. They were trailing some sort of couple who decided to invade a nearby abandoned warehouse.

Holtz followed Abby around an old office and was coming up with ways to trick the entities when Abby spoke.

“Patty like her gift?”

Holtz popped up from a file cabinet and brushed her bangs from her eyes. “What?”

“The gift from the fan club?”

Holtz tilted her head in confusion. She’d never known Abby to talk anything but ghosts on missions, at least now that she didn’t complain about Erin leaving and having no respect for the validity of paranormal research.

“Yeah, why?”

Abby shrugged. “No reason, just curious.”

Holtz halted near the door and turned, sticking her finger in Abby’s face. “Lie.”

Abby rolled her eyes and brought up a finger to point back. “Technically a half lie. I was curious but I was asking because, I don’t know, Erin thought you might be…”

Holtz quirked an eyebrow. “Might be?”

Abby’s eyes darted to a spot on the doorway past Holtz’s left shoulder. “I don’t know, she thought we might not want to burst in on you guys in case…”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “In case we were doin’ the horizontal polka?”

Abby scoffed.

“Doin’ the nasty? Getting busy? Exploring each other’s crime scenes?”

Abby tilted her head. “Ok, that last one isn’t one I’ve even heard of but yes, ok, you get the picture.”

Holtz smirked. “I do.” She checked the next office and waved Abby in as it looked mostly clear.

They were rummaging for a few minutes when Abby spoke again. “So were you?”

Holtz pushed past an old computer, reviewing what she might be able to do with any parts left behind.

She looked up. “Was I what?”

“Exploring each other’s crime scenes.”

Holtzmann considered dodging the question and turning this whole questioning thing into a game but she took pity on Abby, knowing how much she probably hated this conversation.

She shook her head. “Nope.” She popped her mouth on the ‘p’.

Abby sighed. “I told Erin she was crazy.”

Holtz stopped at that. “Doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to.”

Abby raised her eyebrows. “Really?”

Holtz nodded.

“Since when?”

Holtz shrugged. “Since before the lost weekend: Ghostbusters edition.”

Abby nodded and opened her mouth to say something else when Erin yelled from directly below them.

“Got ‘em!”

Abby gave a relieved smile and Holtz knew it wasn’t just from the completed mission.

* * *

Abby didn’t say much else but did pay more attention to Holtz around Patty that evening at dinner. Holtz could feel Abby staring and would stick out her tongue when she caught her best friend. Abby didn’t even look embarrassed at her unabashed gazes. Holtz wasn’t sure if it meant Abby approved or not but she found she wasn’t all that worried when she still didn’t have verbal confirmation from Patty on what she was thinking.

Patty excused herself to her office shortly after eating and Holtz wandered off to her lab.

She worked for about an hour before getting stuck and surprisingly finding herself without enough energy to power through figuring out her problem.

She eyed her watch, only about ten. She went in search of Patty; she’d probably still be up.

Holtzmann realized her assumption was wrong when she reached Patty’s door and saw her slightly slumped in a corner of her couch with her glasses askew and a book almost falling out of her lap. Holtz lingered a little in the door, drinking in the picture. If there was any version of Patty she most enjoyed, it was ‘adorable surrounded by her books forever in search of knowledge’ Patty.

Holtz tiptoed in and gently removed Patty’s glasses and closed Patty’s book, placing a small piece of paper in it to hold Patty’s place.

Patty sighed and Holtz stood, her eyes scanning Patty’s body in relation to her angle on the couch. She realized Patty was primed for a crick in her neck and she bent down to slide her over just a little. She stilled suddenly when Patty stirred but Patty just adjusted and saved Holtz her last inch of shifting.

Holtz reached for the blanket behind Patty and covered her with it. Patty sighed in her sleep and Holtz gave into the urge to kiss Patty’s forehead. “Night, sleeping beauty.”

She almost missed Patty’s quiet whisper of, “Thanks, baby.”

* * *

Holtz was outlining the plans for a new robot when Patty walked in the next morning.

Holtz looked up from her notebook and spoke in a sing song voice. “Good morning.”

Patty nodded. “Mornin’.” Her eyes seemed to roam anywhere but at Holtz.

Holtz tilted her head and stopped writing. “What’s up?”

Patty held up a disc. “We got this in the mail today. It’s uh,” she paused and cleared her throat, “it’s our weddin' video.”

Holtz’s eyes widened. “We have a wedding video?”

Patty nodded. “Yeah, looks like someone arranged for a videographer.”

“Hmm,” muttered Holtz. She’d finally know if those weird dreams she’d been having lined up with real life. She wanted to watch it immediately but Patty had that worried look in her eyes.

Holtz gestured toward the disc. “Wanna give it a gander?”

Patty nodded slowly. “Thought we could watch it together.”

Holtz set down her notebook and reached for the disc. “You make the popcorn.”

Patty looked a little relieved, as if the act of physically playing the disc was what bothered her. She smiled. “I’ll make the popcorn.”

They made their way toward their rec room. Holtz thought about inviting Erin and Abby to watch but something about this felt like it should just be the two of them.

Holtz turned on the TV as Patty finished up the popcorn. She grabbed the remote and plopped down on the couch. Patty joined her after a moment, leaving a space between them that wasn’t normally there.  

The first shot appeared on the screen with Holtz straightening her tie as the videographer asked her a question. The person’s voice was soft and gentle.

_So what are you most excited about when it comes to marrying Patty?_

_Holtz beamed as she looked at the camera and wiggled her eyebrows. “Seeing her naked for the first time.”_

Holtz laughed as Patty pinned her with a glare. Holtz shrugged, it seemed like a reasonable answer.  

They heard the videographer laugh, too.

_What else?_

_Holtz smiled and looked a little serious. “I never thought I’d have a family but I do and Patty is part of that. I was happy with just that but now...” Her smile grew wider as she explained,  “I’m excited that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. Out of all the people, like in the world, she chose me.”_

Holtz felt her chest explode with a curious warmth. She turned to find Patty still focused on the screen but smiling. She wanted to ask if Patty was feeling the same chest explosion but the screen changed and Holtz was mesmerized by Patty’s glorious smile. Her hair was pinned in that low bun and she had white dangling earrings that sparkled as they swung.

There was that slight bounce to her dress that Holtz remembered. Erin handed Patty her lip gloss.

The videographer asked Patty the same question.

_Patty smiled. “Every day is an adventure with Holtzy. Sometimes it’s kinda crazy but man, you can’t find too many people that love with their whole being and, see, Holtz is one of them people.”_

_Patty closed the clap on her lip gloss and continued, “She gets me and I get her and we just kinda work so I’m just excited to see how that goes.”_

Patty sighed as music filled the screen and they watched Holtz enter the ceremony. She didn’t turn from the screen as she stated, “I wasn’t drunk.”

Holtz didn’t really know what to say to that as she saw Patty mouth something to her on the screen. She knew from her dream that Patty was asking if she was ready.

_Patty placed Holtz’s ring on her finger. “With this ring I thee wed.”_

_Holtz winked at her as she did the same. “With this tiny circle, I wed thee.”_

_Patty rolled her eyes and smiled at her. “Good enough.”_

_Holtz bounced on her heels as the officiant continued._

Patty shook her head and chuckled. “Just had to be different, didn’t you, baby?”

Holtz was relieved by Patty’s jovial tone. She was worried this whole thing would just make Patty more mad but as they kissed on screen, Patty smiled and a few tears fell down her cheek.

Holtz wanted to reach out and wipe them away but couldn’t think of the best way to go about it.

The video ended with Erin and Abby (the latter unsuccessfully) blowing bubbles as they exited the office they’d been in.

Patty flipped off the TV and turned to Holtz, shifting closer.  

Holtz nodded toward the TV. “Well, that answers some questions.”

Patty peered at her for a moment before she nodded. “Leaves a few more.” She tilted her head in consideration. “Did you remember the bubbles? That the reason you had them that day of the Leech interview?”

Holtz shook her head. “No, that was the laugh connection.”

Patty crossed her eyebrows in confusion. “What?”

Holtz raised her eyebrows at the obvious explanation. “When I wrote about your laughs.”

“Oh,” said Patty. Her eyes moved to a spot on the floor and Holtz felt like even though Patty had just moved closer, she was somehow further than she’d ever been.

Holtz tilted her head and finally asked what she’d been wanting to for the past couple of weeks. “You remember?”

Patty looked up a little confused. “What?”

Holtz pointed toward the TV.

Patty shook her head. “I didn’t remember none of that but…”

Holtz quirked an eyebrow and leaned a little closer, pleased when Patty didn’t move back.  

“I think I remember buyin’ the dress, well, I remember just before buyin’ it.”

Holtz inclined her head and raised an eyebrow.

Patty tilted her head in return. “Why you lookin’ at me like that?”

Holtz pointed to the top of Patty’s head. “Hiding secrets, Pats? Not a nice thing to do to your beloved.”

Patty rolled her eyes and Holtz wondered if she ever got a headache from doing it so much. “I’m not hidin’ anything, baby. I just remember seeing the dress in the window right after you were eyein’ my casino winnings for a few months worth of cheesesteaks.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “Now there’s an idea.”

“Well, I bought the dress instead.”

“And the suit,” commented Holtz as she suddenly remembered following Patty into a shop and being measured for her suit.

Patty nodded. “Probably.” She stared back at that spot on the floor for a moment before she turned back to Holtz and asked, “Why did we do it?”

Holtz looked at her for a long moment before she answered. There wasn’t worry in Patty’s stare anymore nor disappointment. Patty just looked...lost. Holtz wasn’t completely sure how to help that. She went through a few possible answers in her mind, searching for the one that would bring back Patty’s laugh. One that might ease this weird nervous tension.

She shrugged. “Maybe we wanted to.”

Holtz expected Patty to tell her it was a silly explanation. As much as Holtz felt Patty’s attraction was a definite, she knew from experience that wasn’t enough. She hadn’t had too many relationships, most women only willing to put up with a certain amount of odd before they gave up.

Patty just looked at her and nodded. “Maybe.”

Holtz looked down at the couch for a moment, it wouldn’t take much for her to reach for Patty’s hand. Maybe if she bridged the last inch of this physical gap, Patty wouldn’t feel so far away. She lifted her fingers before Patty turned toward someone stomping up the stairs.

Jennifer Lynch almost collapsed at the top as she took big breaths. “God, there you are.” She paused for a moment as she started to breathe normally. “You should really petition my office for an elevator. Those stairs are a hazard.”

Holtz retracted her hand and turned to look at Jennifer. She threw her a two handed salute. “What’s happenin’, cap’n?”

Jennifer rolled her eyes. “You lucky ladies have just won a romantic getaway for two.”

Patty and Holtz turned to each other with the same confused expression.

Jennifer sighed. “Ok, we rigged a fake competition and you won. Anyway, we need to recover from that Leech interview.”

Holtz felt Patty stiffen next to her. She did reach out then and her hand sought one of Patty’s. She gave her a squeeze.

Patty nodded. “Where we headed?”

“Upstate. It’s going to be cold this time of year, but it’s a gorgeous cabin and the perfect setting.”

Holtz’s mind swirled with images of curling up with Patty in front of a fire. She looked over at Patty and noticed a small smile forming, “What about our work?”

Jennifer waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s only the weekend, next weekend in fact.”

“Ok,” said Patty as she turned to Holtz. “What you think, baby, a weekend in the woods?”

Holtz smiled. “Sounds good to me.”

Patty pointed at her. “No explosive material comes with us.”

Holtz pouted. Patty honestly worried way too much. “Fine.”

“Good, here are the details,” said Jennifer as she handed them a pamphlet. She took out another piece of paper. “This is a list of times and places you can expect a photographer. Now remember, you’re deeply in love.”

Holtz snuck a glance at Patty and realized she was already there.

* * *

They left on Thursday in a private car that was apparently part of the vacation. Holtz wasn’t a huge fan of trusting a stranger to drive but a whole forty-eight hours with Patty awaited her, so she didn’t complain.

Their driver was a tall man whose eyes lingered a little too long on Patty. Holtz reached for Patty’s suitcase, putting space between Patty and the man who couldn’t stop ogling her.

Holtz winked up at Patty. “Hey, Pats, why don’t you hop in?”

Patty looked down at her as if she knew what Holtz was trying to do and offered her a smile. She leaned down and kissed Holtz’s cheek. “Ok, baby.”

The driver reached for the suitcase. “I got it, ma’am.”

Holtz glared at him and hefted the suitcase easily. As she shut the trunk, she stated, “It’s Doctor.”

She blew her bangs out of her face and shooed him away from helping her into the car. She hopped in next to Patty and huffed.

Patty laughed as Holtz closed the door. She tilted her head at her. “Jealous, baby?”

Holtz crossed her arms. “No.”

Patty patted Holtz’s leg. “He’s not my type.”

Holtz rolled her eyes and looked out the window. “And you’re taken,” she muttered.

She heard Patty chuckle as Patty squeezed her leg. “And I’m taken.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your continued support and your reading! It means so much. Next weekend there will be a two chapter update so get ready for that! :)


	5. Over you, there's nothing I want

 

> _And I told myself many times_
> 
> _It’s dangerous to push_
> 
> _Be delicate with this love_
> 
> **_Over you, there’s nothing I want_ **

“Oh Darling” by Gossling

Holtz passed out in the first few minutes of their ride. It seemed that if she wasn’t the one driving, she slept. Patty was only mildly disappointed. As much as she enjoyed their banter, the past week had been a busy one and Patty could use the time to unwind with her new book.

Thirty minutes in, Patty tossed her book aside and sighed. The words started to swirl together, despite the addition of her glasses, and truth be told, for the last ten minutes, she’d been faking it. Holtz was still snoozing quietly next to her. It amazed Patty that someone as active as Holtz wasn’t that way in her sleep.

Patty reached over to tuck a stray hair behind one of Holtz’s ears. Holtz snuggled closer to the window and let out a contented sigh. With her book abandoned, Patty allowed herself time to reflect on the last week or more specifically, the discovery of their wedding tape.

She’d watched it a few more times and there was something so strange about how much it did to settle the anxiety she’d had over the past few weeks. The tape made it feel like it wasn’t some odd fever dream shared between her and the rest of the Ghostbusters.

Patty couldn’t get over the sincerity in Holtz’s face. If she’d had any more lingering doubts that this was just some colossal joke to the other woman, they were settled by the sparkle in Holtz’s eyes and the joy on her face. It had Patty reconsidering so many moments in the past few weeks. The way Holtz always smiled after they kissed, the way she leaned into Patty at every opportunity. There was something there, something more than she’d ever guessed before.

She’d planned so carefully in presenting the idea of a relationship before all this mess and she never really considered that Holtz was more of a dive in headfirst kind of person. Although some things were still unclear about that night, Patty understood now how she could have just agreed to marriage with those unabashedly sincere crystal blue looks Holtz was shooting her.

The question of her sudden marriage had evolved. She now wondered what she was to do if she didn't want her status to change.

* * *

They pulled up to the cabin three hours later. Holtz jumped up as soon as the car stopped and leapt out of the door. Patty wasn’t sure whether the nap had recharged her but she supposed it probably didn’t hurt.

Patty gathered her things and stepped out of the car. The chill in the air hit her at full force and she started to rub her arms as she turned to follow Holtz.

“Your wife’s a lucky woman,” stated the driver and Patty turned to him. Twenty years ago, he would have been just her type.

She smiled politely. “Thank you. We’re both lucky.”

He nodded. “My card’s in the kitchen if you need to go anywhere. Y’all have fun.”

Patty nodded in return and made her way to join Holtz on the small front porch. A couple of rocking chairs that seemed to be on their last leg rocked a little as a breeze shifted in.  

Holtz narrowed her eyes at the retreating car.

It made Patty chuckle. “You gonna fight him, baby?”

Holtz crossed her arms. “I could take him. Easy.”

Patty nodded. “I’m sure you could. Let’s get in from the cold and settle in. He’ll be back tomorrow morning for our day of romantic fun.”

Holtz tilted her head at Patty. “He’s coming back?”

Patty gestured toward the driveway.  “As you can see, baby, we have no other way to get around.”

Holtz huffed.

Patty unlocked the door and gently pushed Holtz forward. “Come on, let’s see what we got here.”

* * *

They made their way in and hung their coats by the door. A small, charming kitchen sat to their right with curtains that reminded Patty of her childhood home.  Holtz opened the fridge and let out a whistle.

“Looks like we’re locked and loaded.”

Patty moved to stand behind her and noted that someone had saved them the trouble of shopping for food. “Must be part of the deal.”

Holtz closed the door and rounded on Patty with a wicked grin. “What you wanna do, Pats?”

_You,_ she thought. Patty turned toward the small space past the kitchen. “Let’s see what else we workin’ with.”

They moved past the small entryway into the living room. A large fireplace sat in the middle of the room with a soft white rug in front of it. A few generic books rested on the mantle while a large TV hung above it. There was a couch that looked large enough to be as wide as a twin bed, with a rocking chair next to it.  

As they walked further in, Patty noticed a staircase and a split ceiling. It seemed that the bedroom was lofted. She turned to Holtz, who’d moved to peer out of the large window displaying their small balcony.

“Baby, help me with the bags?”

Holtz turned and nodded. “Roger that.”

She picked up both of their bags and followed Patty up the steps. There was a large dresser and a large circular object off to one side of the bed.  

Holtz leapt toward it and then lifted the lid. She wiggled her eyebrows as she looked back to Patty. “Got ourselves a hot tub.”

Patty quirked an eyebrow. “Shame I didn’t bring a suit.”

Holtz’s eyes roamed Patty’s body in a way that made her feel like she needed to cover up. She smirked as she met Patty’s eyes. “Think that’s the point.”

Patty swallowed thickly and picked up her bag. “Why don’t I unpack and you find somethin’ to eat and something to watch?” Patty regretted her choice of words as soon as she heard them leave her mouth.

Holtz clicked her tongue. “I got a few ideas.”

Patty rounded the bed and grabbed a pillow, throwing it at Holtz and conveniently hiding her own smirk. “Woman, get downstairs and assemble some food.”

Holtz laughed and threw her a salute. “Yes, ma’am!”

She ran down the stairs as Patty wondered how long she’d last before her response to Holtz’s flirting would be altogether different.

* * *

They ate pancakes and watched old episodes of _How It’s Made_. Holtz offered comments about enhancements while Patty included a few comments on when various items came into use.

Patty picked up their itinerary as Holtz became particularly engrossed in an episode on kitchen appliances.

They had ziplining in the morning preceded by breakfast at a cozy lodge a few miles away. Patty shook her head. At least ziplining would be something that Holtz would enjoy. Jennifer had helpfully marked which places would be perfect for sneaking off to make out in various places. Although she wasn’t a fan of all this media attention, “sneaking away” made her feel like a teenager with a secret. A secret that made her toes curl and anticipation coil in the pit of her stomach.

Patty lingered on a line about horseback riding when Holtz moved closer and read over her shoulder.

“Horses are shady,” she muttered.

Patty smiled as she turned. “Wanna skip that one?”

Holtz shrugged. “Whatever you want to do, Pats.”

“Baby, you don’t have to keep deferrin’ to me. We got this free weekend; you should at least have some fun.”

Holtz tilted her head. “I’m with you, Pats; that’s fun already.”

Patty felt her cheeks warm. “I’m glad you feel that way, baby. How bout we go into that cute little town and ditch the horses?”

Holtz nodded quickly. “There’s a hardware store there.”

Patty rolled her eyes. “‘Course there is.”

* * *

An e-mail from Jennifer popped up on her phone before Patty could plug it in as they got ready for bed.

_Patty,_

_This weekend will be good in response to that interview, but if you want to add a little something else in the face of all this internet noise, let me know. Chelsea Cain from your first interview is in the area covering some craft festival; we can get her to chat with you again._

_Jennifer_

Patty sighed. She would like to forget about the whole thing but it would be nice to talk to someone friendly about all the backlash. Chelsea would probably be somewhere near the town if she were covering a festival.

She turned to Holtz, who was messing with something on the hot tub. “You ok doing an interview tomorrow afternoon?”

Holtz scrunched her face and shot out her tongue.

Patty chuckled. “Yeah, I thought you might feel that way. I can do it alone while you’re at the hardware store.”

Holtz thought for a moment then stopped with whatever she’d been doing. “It would be bad if I wasn’t with you.”

Patty smiled softly at her concern. “You don’t have to. It’s Chelsea, that first interviewer we had, and I’ll just be talking about that mess of a Leech interview.”

Holtz fiddled with the lid of the tub. “I should be there.” She paused for a moment then smiled as she looked up. “Gotta stand by my gal’s side.”

Patty rolled her eyes but softened the gesture with a smile. “Alright.”

She quickly shot off a reply to Jennifer and settled into the bed. She quirked an eyebrow at Holtzmann.

“If I go to sleep, I’m not gonna wake up to something on fire, am I?”

Holtz considered a moment. “Probably not.”

Patty sighed. It would have to be good enough because she was exhausted.

* * *

Patty woke sometime late in the night and went in search of some water. She tiptoed down the stairs and saw a figure near the window in the glow of the firelight.

She did her best not to jump, reminding herself it was probably Holtz. As she got closer, she noticed it was definitely her. The sleeves of Holtz’s flannel shirt were rolled up revealing her forearms with her hands stuffed in her pockets. Patty squinted at the clock on the far wall. It was near 2am--not an usual time for Holtz, but she didn’t seem engaged in anything.

Patty pulled her robe tighter and neared her, standing opposite her in front of the large window.

“Baby,” she greeted quietly.

Holtz didn’t turn but nodded.

There were a few mountains in the distance and scattered lights here and there. Scenes like this always reminded Patty of fantasy places, hidden in the woods, the quiet helping with plans to overthrow kingdoms.

Holtz continued to stare and Patty wondered at her stillness.

She turned toward her again. “You ok?”

Holtz moved to lean against the wall, the action slower than Patty had ever seen her move. “I went to camp once. Some place up in the woods. Maybe it was near here but you know with this old noggin, I can never be sure.” She laughed awkwardly as she pointed toward her head.

Patty nodded slowly and Holtz took it as a cue to continue. “I was twelve? It was one of those weird religious ones. My social worker thought it might help with,” she paused as she turned back to the window and shrugged, “I guess with whatever was making it hard to place me somewhere. They had these classes on how to be a better girl. I was never too good at that.”

Holtz lifted her index finger as she blew on the glass and drew figures in the fog created by her breath. “I hated it and I think they hated me but there was this guy who went around making minor repairs. I snuck out of some weird embroidery class and found him working on a dock. He let me help.”

She wiped the glass with her arm. “I got sent home early but he snuck me a small toolbelt before I left. I hid it and kept it. I still have it.”

She finally turned to Patty. “Could never get that girl thing down, but I learned something.”

Patty nodded and moved a little closer. Holtz was shifting in place, the way she often did when her point wasn’t coming through the way she wanted it to. Patty lifted a hand to Holtz’s arm and Holtz stilled.

Patty tilted her head. “You ok here? We can dip out if it’s weird or you don’t like it.”

Holtz shook her head. “You’re here. It’s always ok when you’re here.”

Patty smiled and squeezed Holtz’s arm gently. “I’m gonna get some water. You wanna come up with me after?”

Holtz winked. “Tryin’ to get me to bed, Pats?”

Patty rolled her eyes and moved to the kitchen. She turned toward Holtz as she poured two glasses of water. “I’ve already had you there so don’t need too much tryin’ on my part, do I?”

Holtz threw up a finger. “Got a point there.” She looked around for a moment then nodded toward Patty. “Bedtime.”

She reached for the glasses and Patty hesitated.

“Sure you want to take both of them?”

Holtz shook her head. “I’m bein’ galant here, Pattycakes, don’t ruin it.”

“Yeah, I can see how hard it would be to carry water,” commented Patty, but she still let Holtz carry the glasses.

They reached the bed and Holtz handed Patty her glass. They climbed in together and Patty turned off the lamp.

Patty considered a moment before she asked, “This camp wouldn't happen to be an Exodus camp, would it?”

Holtz was silent for a moment, then shifted. “Like I said, Pats, it’s hard to know with this unreliable memory of mine.”

“Hmm,” muttered Patty. She shifted to her side so they were face to face. “There ain’t nothing wrong with you, baby. Those people, they didn’t know what they had in you.”

Holtz gave her a sad smile, then pointed at her. “See? Always ok with you, Pattycakes.”

Patty nodded. “Just let me know if it’s too much, baby. We can always leave.”

Holtz nodded and sought Patty’s hand. Moonlight peaked through the window near Patty’s side of the bed and she could see Holtz’s mischievous grin.

“Wanna be one of the things that go bump in the night?”

Patty seriously considered it for a moment but her body was still so tired and they had a full day ahead. As much as she wanted to cross over the intimacy line, they’d been toeing, there was still something that held her back.  She leaned forward to kiss Holtz’s cheek and tell her goodnight.  

Holtz turned and Patty landed partially on her mouth. Holtz’s hand came up to Patty’s face as she turned fully.

Patty adjusted and moved her lips against Holtz’s.The tingle that ran through her at the touch caused her eyes to slip shut immediately. Holtz brought a hand to Patty’s hip, her fingers tentatively splaying over the sliver of skin exposed at the hem of Patty’s shirt, and Patty moved closer. Patty knew they should stop, that they couldn’t go as far as she wanted, but Holtz squeezed her hips as she opened her mouth to invite Patty closer. The action caused Patty’s ability to use logic to become greatly compromised.

_So much for holding back_.

Holtz kissed her way along Patty’s jaw and made her way down Patty’s neck. Patty tried to keep up, leaning down to kiss Holtz’s neck but once Holtz reached Patty’s collarbone, she sighed and just melted into Holtz’s touch. She moaned as Holtz left a trail of kisses from her collarbone to her neck.  

Holtz ran her hands along Patty’s side, an almost feather light touch that left Patty wanting so much more. Her mouth moved back up to Patty’s lips. She smiled as she pulled back and hovered over them. “You ok, Pats?”

Patty rolled her eyes and sighed. “Define ok.”

Holtz titled her head and peered at Patty. “Are you alright? Cool with this? Hip to my jive?”

Patty chuckled softly and shook her head, the action allowing her to focus beyond the sensations Holtz was causing. “I am, but I think we should stop for tonight.” Holtz stilled against her and Patty wrapped her in a loose hug. “But maybe we can pick it up tomorrow after all the publicity stuff we have to do.”

Holtz nodded slowly and snuggled against Patty’s side. She looped an arm across Patty’s middle and Patty was reminded of the morning after their marriage.

Patty squeezed Holtz lightly and kissed the crown of her head. “‘Night, baby.”

Holtz just sighed happily.

Patty was almost asleep before she heard a light whisper.

“Love you.”

She wanted to turn to Holtz, wake her up and make sure she’d heard her right. She wanted to clarify that what shifted for her had happened to Holtz, too. She was also so afraid of breaking the moment in addressing something she may or may not of heard.

In the end, she just squeezed her eyes shut and drifted to sleep.

* * *

“What if I just cut the cord and swing into the trees?”

Patty rolled her eyes as the instructor helped her into her harness. “Baby, don’t even try.”

Holtz raised an eyebrow. “Come on, Pats, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Patty placed her hands on her hips. “Spinal cord injury, brain injury, falling somewhere in these mountains where I can’t find your ass.”

Holtz waggled her eyebrows and sighed dramatically as she crossed her chest with her hand. “Oh, Pats, are you saying you’d miss me?”

Patty sighed. “I’m saying it’s a miracle you managed to stay alive long enough to meet me.”

Holtz beamed. “I’m oh so glad I did.”

Their instructor laughed. “You’re up first, Dr. Holtzmann.”

Holtz crossed her eyebrows and turned to Patty. “What happened to ladies first?”

“I need to make sure you don’t do anything crazy so you first.”

Holtz reached up to kiss Patty on the cheek. “See you on the other side.”

Patty pinned her with a look. “You better.”

Holtz reached for the handle the instructor held. She took a deep breath and yelled “Tally-ho,” as she zipped down.

Patty watched her as long as she could and prayed she didn’t make good on the idea of cutting the cord. Patty was sure Holtz probably couldn’t but she knew better than to underestimate the antics of Holtzmann.

After ten minutes, the instructor on the other side informed them Holtz made it safely. Patty breathed a sigh of relief before she began her own descent. She did her best to take in the gorgeous scenery as she zipped down.

Holtz was bouncing on the platform as Patty landed. She kissed her as the instructor unbuckled her. Patty heard a camera click and brought a hand up to caress Holtz’s cheek. She was about to tell Holtz good thinking when something in Holtz’s face made her pause. Holtz looked so pleased, delighted and...content. The way she’d looked in their wedding video.

Patty felt butterflies swarm in her stomach as she realized Holtz had probably not even seen the camera. She smiled and kissed her again.

Holtz winked. “See? I can listen.”

Patty rolled her eyes as she threw an arm over Holtz’s arms. “I guess you can, baby.”

* * *

They met Chelsea in a charming tea shop/bookstore in the heart of the small town. She smiled as they sat.

Patty noticed there were no cameras and looked at Chelsea curiously.

Chelsea nodded toward a back room. “My crew is back there but before we start, I just wanted to check in and make sure you’re really ok with this.”

Out of all their interviewers, Chelsea was the one Patty liked best. She reminded her of Maria who used to live down the street and was the only person Patty played with as a child. They had the same curly brown hair and kind smile.

Patty smiled at her thoughtfulness. “I’m good. It’s been a couple weeks and while I still jump at ghosts every once in awhile, I got a thick skin when it comes to this.”

Holtz nodded in agreement. Patty was surprised she hadn’t pulled out her materials from the hardware and started tinkering. Her posture was straighter than normal and Patty realized she was trying to pay close attention.

Patty reached over and squeezed her hand. Holtz looked over at her and winked. Patty turned back to Chelsea. “We’re ready.”

Chelsea nodded again and shot a text to her crew. “Right before we start, I gotta recommend the cinnamon plum tea here. It’s to die for.”

It took them a while to set up but it seemed like no time when Patty and Holtz were mic’d and ready to go.

Chelsea’s smile changed; still kind, but one she was obviously used to using on the air. It helped Patty shift and ready herself for the conversation that would follow.

“Patty, you had some backlash lately--both in one of your interviews and online. What struck you the most about it?”

Patty took a deep breath. “You know, Chelsea, I’ve been around for some time. It’s not like I’ve never been insulted, but what has always surprised me is how quickly people will attack someone they don’t know. How they use the anonymity of the internet to just let out all they hate.”

Chelsea nodded. “And what would you want to say to them if you ever met them?”

“To just remember I’m a person, you know? I work hard to keep the city of New York safe. I love my city a lot and I know there are always gonna be people who don’t like me or don’t care, but I didn’t do nothing wrong. I just fell in love, that’s it.” Patty controlled her expression as her last statement flew out without her thinking about it.

She’d meant to say she’d just gotten married or that her relationship was her own but her brain apparently had other plans. She felt a squeeze on her leg from Holtz and she caught Holtz’s wink before Chelsea turned her questioning to Holtz.

“How did it make you feel, Dr. Holtzmann?”

Holtz paused for a moment before she threw the camera a serious look. “Patty here is pretty incredible. She’s great with a proton gun and a ghost chipper. She’s also gorgeous and nice when she’s not yelling at me to make sure I don’t blow too many things up.”

Patty scoffed and the corner of Holtz’s mouth turned up before she continued. “If these people, whoever they are, can’t see it, their loss.”

Patty smiled at her as Holtz turned back to her.

“Well, it looks like you two are well matched.”

Patty didn’t look at Chelsea but smiled and stated, “Guess we are.”

Chelsea asked a few more questions about their vacation and their fan club, then the interview was over. After her crew packed, Chelsea’s soft smile was back.

“I hope you two enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

Patty shook her hand. “Thank you for doing this.”

Chelsea shook her head. “Oh, it’s no problem. To tell you the truth, this festival is a little boring, so it was nice to have something to break it up.”

She shook Holtz’s hand and grabbed her bag. She pointed at Patty. “Now, don’t forget that tea.”

Patty nodded. “I won’t.”

“Let me know if you ever want to do another interview. Seriously, it’s always a pleasure.”

Then she was gone. Patty grabbed her suggested tea and turned to Holtz. “Where to, baby?”

Holtz shrugged. “Back to the cabin? I got dinner plans with a hot lady and she insists I be presentable.”

Patty rolled her eyes. “Not my fault most of your wardrobe includes overalls and robes.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “But you love it.”

“Hmm,” hummed Patty as they left.

* * *

Dinner was nice, Patty wore the dress she’d bought in Atlantic City and Holtz couldn’t take her eyes off of her.

She caught Holtz mindlessly playing with her pasta and smiled at her under her lashes. “How's the food, baby?”

Holtz jolted a little and turned back to her plate. “Delicious.”

“Hmm,” started Patty, “that why you haven't touched it?”

Holtz looked up. “Well, can you blame me, Pats, when your company is so enticing?”

God help her, Patty giggled.

Holtz quirked an eyebrow and nodded toward her. “You are stunning, Pattycakes.” Her voice held a curious sense of wonder.

Patty cleared her throat. “Not too bad yourself, baby.”

Holtz gave her a pleased smirk.

The rest of their dinner continued in a dance of thinly veiled looks and light conversation.

While Patty went to find her coat, Holtz offered to grab Jeeves (their driver’s name was James but she’d dubbed it an inappropriate name for a chauffeur).

As Patty walked back into the front of the restaurant, she saw a curvy redhead hand Holtz a card. She was leaning to whisper in Holtz’s ear and Patty felt her heart drop into her stomach. All their quiet moments, all she’d said during that interview, this whole dinner, was she still reading this wrong? Maybe Holtz hadn’t wanted her in the way Patty thought, not when she could be so easily close to a stranger.

She turned toward the bathroom and missed Holtz calling out to her.

It was all just too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait till the weekend so I hope you enjoy this a day early. :)


	6. From A Whisper Start

 

> _When your secret heart_
> 
> _Cannot speak so easily_
> 
> _Come here darlin'_
> 
> **_From a whisper start_ **
> 
> _To have a little faith in me_

“Have a Little Faith In Me”~John Hiatt

Holtz followed Patty into the bathroom and gently grabbed her forearm.

“Don’t,” Patty whispered.

Holtz let go but tilted her head up at her. “What happened?”

Patty shook her head and leaned against a nearby wall. “I just can’t believe I was so blind. I got caught up and now you…” she paused as she peered down at Holtz with tears in her eyes. “Look, this will all be over and you won’t have to pretend anymore.”

Holtz hated tears and tears from Patty tore through her in a specifically unpleasant manner. She adjusted her glasses and squinted up at Patty. “Pats, I don’t say this often, but you lost me.”

Patty wiped at her eyes and sighed. “You and that woman.”

Holtz quirked an eyebrow. “What woman?”

Patty shook her head. “Really? You’re gonna play this game with me?”

“Hey, I’m happy to play any game with you.” She winked but wasn’t greeted with the laugh she’d hoped for so she crossed her arms and tried for a serious expression. “I really don’t know what you mean.”

Patty pointed toward the doorway. “You and the readhead. I saw her slip you her number.”

Holtz thought for a moment. _Redhead, redhead_. Then it hit her. “You mean the Jessica Rabbit lookalike?”

Patty rolled her eyes. “No need to rub it in, and now we don’t even have to keep going. We got the makin’s of a perfect scandal.”

Holtz narrowed her eyes in confusion. There were footsteps near the entrance and Holtz quickly ushered Patty into a nearby empty stall. She locked the door before Patty could walk back out. The stall had the kind of door that made it look like a closet and covered every part of the person occupying it.

Whomever walked in didn’t pause at the sound of two voices in the far stall or at least that’s what Holtz figured.  

“What are you doing?” whispered Patty. “What if your new friend finds us? Look Holtzy,  least you could do was tell me to get out of your way.”

“Out of my way?” Holtz squinted at her. This sense of this conversation slipped from her faster and faster.

Patty nodded. “Yeah, what I need you to do right now.” Patty moved for the door but Holtz remained rooted in her spot.

She took inventory of the hurt in Patty’s face, the mention of a random attractive woman, talk of running away,  and realization dawned on her. She peered up at Patty for a long moment then ducked her head

“Pats, do you really think I’d do that to you?” she asked in a small voice.

Patty stopped and considered her for a moment before she let out a sigh and moved to lean against the side of the stall. “I don’t want to.”

Holtz looked back up at her and pulled out the business card the woman had slipped her. Patty took it reluctantly. Her eyebrows raised as she read it. “Fertility consultant?”

Holtz nodded. “Yeah, wanted me to know if we ever wanted to..” she paused as she raised her hands in air quotes, “expand our family, she’d help.” Holtz shrugged. “Can’t say I was into the idea, but she didn’t give me much time to explain.”

Patty shook her head as she kept her eyes trained on the paper. “So you weren’t trying to--”

Holtz moved from the door and took Patty’s hands in hers. “I meant it.”

Patty startled a little. “Meant what?”

_Time to be brave_ , thought Holtz. “What I said last night.”

Patty eyes flitted between Holtz’s hands and her face. “What are you talking--”

“I thought you were awake and when you didn’t answer,” she shrugged, “I thought it might be too much.”

Patty’s mouth fell open a little and Holtz reached up on her toes to close it. “Flies, Pattycakes.”

Patty swallowed and blinked several times before she steadied her gaze on Holtz. “So I gotta get this right ‘cause I obviously been reading shit wrong tonight. You love me? Like for real now?”

Holtz stroked her thumb along Patty’s wrist and smiled. “Well, it was always real. Like I told you, we’re _epic_.”

Patty just stared for a moment. Holtz felt Patty squeeze her hand before she leaned forward and captured Holtz’s lips with hers. Holtz startled a moment before she responded in kind and let go of Patty’s hand, reaching for one of Patty’s cheeks.

Patty used her now free hand to grip the back of Holtz’s neck and pulled her closer. Holtz slipped an arm around Patty’s waist and swallowed Patty’s small moan as she squeezed her hip.

It was only a few minutes before a voice called, “Is there a Dr. Holtzmann and Ms. Tolan in here? There's a driver outside for you.”

Patty let out a frustrated sigh as they parted and cleared her throat. “Thank you.”

Holtz gave Patty's side a squeeze. “Wanna neck in the backseat?”

Patty let out a throaty chuckle. “I could get with that.”

* * *

James thankfully didn't say much when they climbed into the back of the car. Holtz held onto Patty a bit tighter than necessary but Patty said nothing about it.

She reached for Holtz as soon as James pulled away from the restaurant. It was nice to know that Patty was as eager as Holtz was. It was also nice that they were hidden behind a partition, though judging Patty’s performance in the bathroom, Holtz got the feeling she wouldn’t have minded much.

The drive home was long enough that they’d popped two buttons off of Holtz’s vest and stretched the top of Patty’s dress beyond recognition. When the car stopped, Patty scrambled for her wrap as Holtz winked at her.

Patty sighed and rolled her eyes. “Nothing to be cocky about, baby.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “Not yet.”

Patty ducked her head a little and shook it, a tactic Holtz recognized that usually hid a pleased smirk. Holtz chuckled and offered her arm as they climbed out of the car.

Patty offered James a small wave while he drove away then Holtz reached up to kiss her as she unlocked the door.

Holtzmann kicked the door closed behind them as Patty pulled her closer and walked her backward to the couch. There was a fire in her eyes that made heat well up between Holtz’s thighs.

Patty's hands trailed up Holtz's waist to her shoulders as she gently pushed her down on the couch.

Patty parted from their kiss and panted, trying to calm her breathing as she eyed the situation. Holtz liked how ruffled Patty looked with a couple of braids coming out of her bun and her dress slightly askew. She felt like this might be her new favorite version of Patty.

Holtz smirked up at her. "You gonna just stand there all night?"

There was a devious glint to Patty's eyes as she shook her head and bent toward the couch.

When Patty swung her legs over Holtz’s and settled in her lap, Holtz felt everything at once; Patty’s skin only a hair’s breadth away from her mouth, Patty’s thighs pressed on either side of her, and the smell of whatever combination of heaven that was Patty’s perfume. Her head felt a bit dizzy but in the good way she often felt around Patty.

She blinked a few times to clear her vision and she convinced herself she wasn’t dreaming. It was real, _this was real,_ and Holtz wasn't going to waste it. She wasn't going to let Patty question for one second how much she wanted this.

Holtz had a strong desire to run her hands along Patty’s legs, but she opted for the safety of Patty’s face first. Patty rested her hands on the back of the couch and held her breath as Holtz’s palms landed on her cheeks. Holtz started by running her fingertips along Patty's cheekbones then moved to her eyebrows, her chin, and her jawline. An attempt to memorize every line and every crease by touch.

"You know what I like best?"

Patty licked her lips after Holtz's finger moved from her mouth to her chin. "What's that?"

Her voice deepened in a way that was not only curious, but exploratory somehow, and Holtz thought it was sexy as hell.

She traced the part of Patty's face that revealed her dimples when she smiled. "This right here when you smile."

Patty smiled in turn and Holtz brought her other hand up to touch both dimples at the same time.

She threw Patty a delighted grin. "Yeah, like that."

Patty laughed softly and Holtz went back to tracing her mouth.

She ran her thumb over Patty's bottom lip. "You got the best smile, Pats, and the best laugh."

Patty brought one hand down from the back of the couch and cupped Holtz's cheek.

"I'm a pretty big fan of your smile too, baby."

Holtz beamed up at her.

Patty ran a finger down Holtz's neck and Holtz shivered at the light contact. "But what I like best..." She ran her hand down Holtz's arm to her hand. "Are these. Stronger than people give you credit for and I bet mad skilled in ways I can't wait to find out."

Holtz wiggled her fingers. "You know what they say about keeping a lady waiting?"

Patty moved her lips over Holtz's, adding just the right amount of pressure. She parted and hovered over Holtz's mouth. "Hmm, what's that?"

"Never do it." Holtz ran her hands down Patty’s neck to collarbone. She paused there, drinking in the sight of the woman she wanted in so many ways, and smiled. “Ready?”

Patty winked. “Oh, I was born ready, baby.”

Holtz let out a low laugh. “Mind if I keep going?”

Patty leaned forward a little, pressing her body against Holtz’s stilled hands. “Let’s get to it.”

Holtz smiled as she moved her hands over Patty’s clothed breasts and torso. Holtz’s fingertips ran the length of Patty’s legs and paused where fabric met skin. Patty groaned at the contact and Holtz loved the sound instantly.

Patty leaned back slightly and hiked up her dress a bit. Holtz took her time to explore her newly exposed thighs as Patty started her own exploration of Holtz's mouth. She opened her mouth just enough for Holtz to slide her tongue in and move in tandem with Patty's.

Patty pressed against her as Holtz's hands hit lace and Patty moved her lips from Holtz's mouth to Holtz's neck.

Patty stroked the back of Holtz's neck with her thumb as her mouth sucked at the space between Holtz's neck and her collarbone.

Holtz let out a moan as Patty hit a particularly sensitive spot and Patty pressed herself closer for a moment before she paused.

Holtz felt Patty stroke her thumb over the spot. "My lipstick," she whispered.

Holtz shrugged. "It's, fine Pats; it happens."

"Nah, it’s not..." Patty she shook her head and leaned back a little. "I remember."

Holtz didn’t really want to interrupt their momentum but Patty didn’t move. Holtz stopped and peered up at her. “What?”

Patty stroked the spot on Holtz’s collarbone as she recalled, “We just wanted to celebrate and we didn’t trust Erin and Abby to get back alone, so we stopped for some champagne and took ‘em back to their room.”

Holtz nodded as a vague recollection appeared in her mind. Erin and Abby bid them goodnight and thanked them for letting them be there. “We bought glasses but we stopped using them and just passed the bottle.”

Patty stopped stroking her and just squeezed her shoulder. “You promised to be whatever I needed.”

“And you promised to always stay with me.” Holtz feared for a minute Patty would take it back.

Patty reached up to cup Holtz’s cheek and gave her a soft smile. “Why you think we did it?”

Holtz smiled. “Because we wanted to.”

Patty nodded. “That a good enough reason?” Her voice was quiet like in the bathroom and it caused Holtz to reach up and hold Patty in a loose hug.

“Hey, Pats?”

Patty looked down at her and hummed. “Yeah, baby?”

“We don’t have to,” assured Holtz.

Patty bit her lip and shook her head. “That’s what you said, isn’t it? I couldn’t keep going cause, damn, champagne is the worst idea at two in the morning.”

Holtz nodded and gave her a reluctant smile. “Yeah and I get if you feel that way now.” Patty didn’t say anything for a moment and Holtz tilted her head up at her. “That how you feel, Pats?”

Patty considered for a moment then started to stroke Holtz’s cheek. The fire in her eyes was back mixed with something Holtz thought she’d imagined during their interview earlier. _Adoration_.  “Nah, how bout you?”

Holtz squeezed her. “I always want you.”

Patty tilted her head and narrowed her eyebrows. “Always, huh?”

Holtz leaned up to capture her lips and sighed as they parted. “Affirmative.”

Patty nodded. “So, we doing this?”

“Only if you want to.”

Patty leaned forward and kissed Holtz’s lips as she started to unbutton Holtz’s vest. Holtz took the opportunity to reach up for Patty’s zipper. Patty shivered a little and Holtz paused. Starting a fire would be a good idea but it would mean they’d have to part. When Patty shivered again as her dress fell more, the decision was made.

Holtz squeezed her legs. “Hold this thought?”

Patty crossed her eyebrows. “What?”

Holtz pointed at the fireplace. “Gotta warm us up.”

Patty shrugged. “I was feelin’ pretty warm already.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “Saucy, but I don’t want you to freeze. Plus, fires are my expertise.”

Patty shrugged off her lap. “Just don’t blow us up.”

Holtz threw her a wink before she moved toward the fireplace. “Never.”

In a few minutes, she had a fire going and as she stood up, she felt Patty at her back. Patty’s hands came to rest around her middle and she dropped her lips to Holtz’s neck. Holtz closed her eyes for a moment before she turned around and wiggled her eyebrows.

“Want me to whisk you upstairs?”

Patty shook her head as she backed Holtz up to the couch again. “Too far.”

Holtz smiled. “Lady’s choice.” She dropped to the couch at Patty’s urging with a soft plop.

It wasn’t long before they were back to where they left off before Holtz moved to make the fire. Patty’s hooded eyes and mischievous smile made Holtz feel like she was in on a secret. Patty kissed her way down Holtz’s neck and didn't stop this time when she reached her collarbone. Holtz closed her eyes for a moment at the contact and almost gasped at the sight she was gifted with when she opened them again.

The fire had grown bright enough to outline Patty's body with a brilliant glow. As flames licked the logs and Patty moved, the color of the fire seemed to chase her.

Patty stopped in her exploration of Holtz’s neck and peered at her. “You ok, baby?”

The glow was even more fantastic wrapped around Patty's face.

Holtz nodded. “Fantastic.”

Patty quirked an eyebrow. “Sure?”

Holtz moved her hands to the edge of Patty’s underwear and slipped her fingers along the small space of skin she hadn’t touched yet.

She nodded again slowly and smiled. “Yeah, now shush, I’m busy.”

Patty kept looking at her until Holtz’s mouth met one of Patty’s nipples and her head fell back as she arched and pressed closer. Holtz pulled Patty’s panties to the side and slipped a finger between her lips.

Patty’s breath hitched as she undulated her hips and pressed her lower half down against Holtz’s hand. Patty started to build a rhythm that was almost as enticing to watch as it was to feel. Holtz curled her fingers slightly as she took Patty's nipple between her teeth.

“God,” Patty moaned.

Holtz released her nipple with an audible pop and winked up at her. “I prefer Holtzy, baby, sweetie, and the like, but you’re welcome to improvise.”

Patty placed her hand around the back of Holtz’s head and pulled her back to the breast she’d released. “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Holtz laughed against Patty’s skin. The vibration made by her own laugh and Patty’s moaning mixed into one of the most pleasing sensations she’d ever felt. She circled Patty’s nipple with her tongue and added a finger to join her initial one between Patty’s thighs.  She sped up as Patty’s moaning and movement continued to increase.

Patty squeezed Holtz’s shoulder as she cried out one final time, then wrapped her arms around Holtz.

Holtz kissed Patty’s cheek and wrapped her free arm around her.

Patty shivered after a few minutes.

“Want to take me up on the whisking now?”

Patty chuckled, a deep and melodic sound that made Holtz’s stomach flip. “There’s something I want to do first.”

Holtz turned to look at her. “Your wish is my command.”

Patty winked. “It’s your turn baby.” She stood up and pulled Holtz closer to the fire before she settled on the rug in front of the fire.

Holtz smiled slowly then hopped down on the floor. She wiggled her eyebrows as she feigned ignorance. “My turn for what?”

Patty laughed again then instructed, “Lie your ass back and I’ll show you.”

* * *

Holtz ran her fingertips along Patty’s spine as the sun finally rose. Patty shifted a little and Holtz replaced her fingers with her lips. Patty let out a soft moan and slowly turned, careful not to pin Holtz to the bed. Holtz leaned back to give Patty room.

When Patty was situated on her back, she smiled up at Holtz. “Morning, baby.” Her voice was scratchy and quiet, as if it were also slowly waking up.

“Top of the mornin’ gorgeous.” She leaned down to kiss Patty but was stopped by Patty’s index finger.

“I probably got morning breath.”

Holtz quirked an eyebrow and opened her mouth, causing Patty’s finger to slip a bit. Holtz closed her mouth around it and winked as she released it. “Don’t care.”

This time Patty didn’t stop her. Holtz ran her hand over Patty’s middle and squeezed her side as she moved her mouth away from Patty’s mouth and made her descent down Patty’s neck.

Holtz heard Patty whisper something like _didn’t dream it_ and Holtz made a loud smack as she looked up from Patty’s throat and smiled. She lightly pinched Patty’s side.

Holtz laughed while Patty squirmed.

Patty rolled her eyes. “What was that for?”

Holtz shrugged as she smirked. “It’s real.”

Patty laughed as she cupped Holtz’s cheek and lightly pulled her back down. “Get your ass back here.”

Holtz managed a small salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

Before they could attempt a repeat of the night before, there was a knock at the front door. They would have elected to ignore it if not for the familiar voices that accompanied the knock.

“Abs, we really should have called.”

“Why? They don’t have a way to get to us and this is an emergency.”

“Still, they’re probably--”

“At this hour?”

“ _Abby._ ”

“ _Erin._ ”

Patty rolled her eyes and climbed out of the bed. Holtz took her time drinking in every last beautiful detail of Patty’s body before Patty fumbled and threw on some shorts and a sweater.

She paused at the top of the stairs and winked. “You save all them dirty thoughts and we can discuss ‘em later.”

Holtz beamed.

Patty nodded toward her. “Put some clothes on and let’s see what they want.”

Holtz stumbled out of bed and rummaged their temporary drawers for something to wear. She got an idea when she heard Patty let Erin and Abby in.

* * *

Holtz thought Abby’s eyes might bug out of her head when she bounced down stairs and greeted her friends.

Patty turned and sighed. “Is that my shirt?”

Holtz folded her arms over the t-shirt that was obviously too big for her. “No.”

She saw Erin hit Abby’s forearm and mutter something that sounded like _I told you so_. Holtz continued on her way to the kitchen and grabbed some orange juice, not bothering with a glass. Patty stomped in and grabbed one for her. Holtz winked as she finished her sip from the carton and used the glass.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and turned toward her friends. “So,what's up?”

Erin turned to Abby, whose mouth was still agape and rendered mute.

Erin rolled her eyes and offered, “There's a haunting in some old farmhouse about fifteen minutes from here.”

Holtz nodded. “Time to suit up then.”

Erin stumbled a little as she pulled up a bag. “We brought yours, we’re good to go.”

Holtz noticed then that they were both in their boots and jumpsuits.

Patty grabbed the bag, and headed upstairs. “We'll be down in ten minutes; feel free to wait.”

Erin nodded and ushered a still silent Abby to the couch.

Holtz bounded up the stairs behind Patty.

“I expect my shirt back.”

Holtz pouted as she took her suit from Patty.

Patty shook her head and amended, “Someday.”

Holtz smiled.

When Patty finished, she leaned down and gave Holtz a quick kiss.

Patty smiled softly. “I’m gonna make good on the promise of exploring every one of those filthy thoughts.” She helped button the top of Holtz’s coveralls then tapped her slightly. “But ghosts first.”

Holtz gave her a sly smirk. “The perfect woman, you are.”

Patty rolled her eyes and laughed.

* * *

The bust was a quick one and it wasn’t long before they drove back by the cabin to pick up Holtz and Patty’s things. Erin offered to help Patty pack and Patty shooed off Holtz after the offer.

Holtz shrugged and climbed into the front seat of the Ecto. Abby slipped into the passenger side next to her.

“So…”

Holtz quirked an eyebrow as Abby didn’t elaborate. “So…”

Abby gestured toward the cabin. “So you two really…”

Holtz laughed. “Yes, we did.”

Abby cleared her throat. “You happy?”

It still threw Holtz off how much Abby cared about her and looked out for her. She smiled over at her best friend and adjusted her glasses.

She sighed. “As a clam.”

Abby nodded. “Good.”

Holtz eyed Abby for a moment then asked, “Are you?”

Abby crossed her eyebrows and peered at her. “Am I what?”

“Happy? Did you and Erin finally…”

They both turned at the sound of the front of the cabin closing. Patty and Erin were laughing and Holtz felt something tug at her heart when she saw Patty’s smile.

“I think we’re close,” whispered Abby.

Holtz nodded. “Good.”

Abby opened her door.

“Where you going?”

Abby smiled as she stepped out of the car. “I think this seat is taken.” She pointed a finger. “And since you’re in the front, no funny business.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “Lack of imagination, Yates.”

Abby snorted as she left and went to help Patty with her bag. She whispered something Holtz couldn’t hear but she judged by the look on Patty’s face it was important.

Patty smiled as she climbed into the front seat. Holtz almost asked her about what Abby said but something in the look on Patty’s face convinced her she should inquire later.

Holtz blasted the music as Erin and Abby climbed in.

Patty rolled her eyes. “Try not to kill us.”

Holtz squeezed Patty’s leg. “Sense of adventure, Pattycakes; it’s essential.”

Patty tried to look unimpressed, but the slight upturn of her mouth gave away her amusement.

* * *

When they arrived at the station, Patty told the other two to clean up and go home since they’d been on call all weekend.

Erin threw her a thankful glance as they unloaded their equipment.

Holtz halted as they walked in from the garage. Nestled next to Kevin’s desk were two brightly covered book bags. Holtz glanced around for Kevin but the receptionist was nowhere in sight. She was about to point it out to her friends when two small figures emerged from the top of the stairs.

“How did you two get in?” asked Abby.

Jessika shifted from foot to foot. “Your receptionist let us in then asked us to watch the place till you got back. We took a couple of messages and left them on the desk. We didn’t touch anything.”

Patty crossed her arms and regarded them. “Do your parents know you’re here?”

Kelly pushed her glasses with her knuckle. “Yes, Ms. Tolan. We promised to bring our homework which we’ve been working on.”

Erin smiled up at them. “Are you two hungry? It’s almost lunchtime.”

They nodded their heads in unison and Holtz’s stomach growled. Patty smiled over at her. “I’ll take the first shower and you order some pizza.” She looked back up at the girls. “Y’all make sure to tell Holtz what you want or she’ll just order for herself.”

Holtz pouted and whispered to Patty. “But if you take a shower first, I can’t shower with you.”

Patty winked. “I’ll make it up to you, baby.”

“Fine.” Holtz looked up at the teenagers. “Okay, chickadees, what’ll it be?”

Jessika and Kelly headed down the stairs as the other three made their way to the showers.

Holtz made the regular order with the extra requests. When she hung up, she turned to Kelly and Jessika. “So did Kev really leave or did you lock him in a containment chamber?”

Kelly and Jessika’s eyes widened and they shook their heads.

“He really left,” offered Jessika.

Holtz shook her head. “Too bad. I keep trying to see what he’d do in one of those things.” She reached behind her ear for the edge of her glasses and made them move up and down as she laughed at Kelly and Jessika’s stunned expressions.

Kelly fiddled with her fingers. “I was wondering…” She cleared her throat and didn’t meet Holtz’s eyes, “Can I work with you in your lab this afternoon?”

Holtz tilted her head and considered for a moment. “Sure thing, but I gotta clean up and chow down first.”

Kelly tucked her hair behind her ear. “Yes, ma’am.”

Holtz threw a finger up at her and Kelly narrowed her eyes for a minute then clarified, “Sorry. Yes, captain.”

Holtz threw her a thumbs up. “Now let’s go see what provisions will tide us over before the pizza arrives.”

* * *

Kelly followed Holtz into her lab after lunch and took a moment to look around. She hadn’t been allowed up yet and Holtz figured she would need a minute to get the lay of the land.

Holtz looked at her projects and grabbed what she’d been working on before her weekend away with Patty. Thoughts of the night before rushed through her head and she briefly considered telling the kid to just have fun while she sought out Patty.

She was brought out of her thoughts by the noise of a stool shifting on the floor as Kelly took a seat.

“Can I help any?”

Holtz looked over her table and thought of what Patty might not kill her for. She passed Kelly a few circuit boards and showed her what to strip and rewire on them. Kelly nodded and started as soon as Holtz sat back and continued on what she first grabbed.

Kelly was such a quiet worker that Holtz almost forgot she was there--until Holtz jumped down from fixing the top of their new containment unit and almost bumped into her.

Kelly adjusted her glasses. "I'm sorry."

Holtz shook her head. "I'm cool, kid. Finish those circuit boards?"

Kelly nodded and looked down at her feet. She mumbled something Holtz couldn't discern.

"Come again?" she asked.

"Does it ever get easier?" Kelly repeated.

Holtz adjusted her glasses. “You’ll have to be more specific, Patty Jr.”

Kelly tilted her head. “Patty Jr.?”

Holtz winked. “It’s a compliment but if you prefer Kelly, I respect that.”

Kelly shook her head. “I don’t mind. Um by it, I meant, well, just everyone knowing you like girls. I just,” she adjusted her glasses, “I’m already _so_ weird. I just need to know if it ever gets easier.”

Holtz shifted and took a few moments before she answered. “No one ever really understands me.”

Kelly looked crestfallen.

Holtz lifted a  wrench and pointed. “But…”

Kelly threw her a hopeful glance.

“You can find people who get it eventually. They’re rare like the perfect combination of wires for a medium poof.”

Kelly nodded, though Holtz could tell she didn’t completely grasp Holtz’s meaning.

Holtz shrugged. “I’m not always the best person to ask about these things. The price of brilliance is usually a small number of people willing to put up with you, but you know when you find them.”

“Like Jessika?”

Holtz nodded. “Yeah, you two cats seem like peas in a pod.”

Kelly nodded. “She’s my best friend.” She lowered her voice as she added, “My only friend.”

Holtz passed her a broken radio and a pair of pliers. “Not your only.”

Kelly smiled at her. “Thank you, Dr. Holtzmann.”

Holtz winked at her. “You a Paula fan?”

Kelly tilted her head and quirked an eyebrow. “Paula?”

Holtz widened her eyes. “Abdul.” Kelly remained confused. Holtz sighed. “Oh kid, we have so much to cover.”

Kelly nodded and settled on a stool. “I have the rest of the afternoon.” She paused. “If you’re ok with that.”

Holtz nodded. “It’s a start.”

* * *

Holtz woke to an empty space beside her. She furrowed her brow at the crumpled sheets and slipped out of bed. The chill of the room hit her instantly and she was thankful to find a discarded hoodie somewhere near the bedroom door. She took a deep breath and delighted in the traces of vanilla. There was a sound from the kitchen and she tiptoed around Patty’s discarded lingerie. Patty made good on her promise and Holtz’s legs ached as she made her way to Patty’s kitchen.  

Patty was wrapped in a terrycloth robe and stared at the stovetop.

Holtz wrapped her arms around Patty's middle and Patty sighed as she settled into her embrace.

"Hey, baby," she said softly.

Holtz nuzzled Patty's back in lieu of an answer.

Patty turned and looked down at her. "Just gonna steal all my clothes, aren't you?"

Holtz winked and pulled the hoodie closer. "Not my fault they're so comfy."

Patty shook her head. "What are you doing awake? You usually sleep like the dead."

Holtz shrugged. "Maybe my spidey senses knew the gorgeous lady I ravaged earlier  left me there."

Patty rolled her eyes. "I just wanted some warm milk. You in the mood for some hot chocolate?"

There was a joke in there somewhere but Holtz's sleepy mind couldn't find it, so she nodded and hopped up on the counter behind Patty as Patty grabbed cocoa mix and mugs.

Patty leaned back on the counter next to Holtz as they waited for the milk to warm. Holtz was almost asleep again when Patty started to speak.

“We never talked about kids.”

Holtz’s eyes shot open and she peered over at Patty. “Were we supposed to?”

Patty didn’t turn to look at her and shook her head. “Nah, I just was thinking this afternoon when I was helping Jessika with her homework, it’s just never come up. I mean, there’s stuff we don’t know about each other.”

Holtz felt a small stirring of anxiety coil in her stomach. “So, uh, let’s talk?”

Patty moved to pour the cocoa and milk into their mugs and handed one to Holtz. She leaned against the counter and stared at a picture behind Holtz. Holtz turned and noticed it was a picture of Patty and her mother.

Holtz remembered their interview with the girls and offered, “You look like her.”

Patty turned to her slowly. “Think so?”

Holtz nodded as she took a sip of her cocoa. It was perfect but then again, she hadn’t encountered something yet that Patty didn’t do well.

“I used to want to be just like her you know? She was amazin’ and my Daddy always said I inherited her patience. I had this whole plan you see--college, grad school. She got sick my senior year of high school.”

A tear ran down Patty’s cheek and Holtz reached up to catch it. Patty smiled at her and sniffled.

“Anyway, I’ve had a pretty good life. I almost got married once before.”

Holtz quirked an eyebrow and tilted her head.

Patty shook her head at the memory. “It didn’t work out and I haven’t seen him since. Got close again a few years ago with a college professor, Angela. She got an offer out in California and as hard as I tried, I couldn’t leave New York. She had a ten-year-old named Jess.”

Holtz nodded and made the connection. “Jessika.”

Patty nodded. “They’re nothin’ alike, but the name hit me the first time. It’s stupid probably but I wonder…” She considered a moment then added softly, “If we keep going with this, I mean, shit, it could fall apart, just as easy.”

Holtz set down her mug and leaned forward so she and Patty were eye level. “Listen, you might kill me.”

Patty laughed. “I do think about it a lot.”

Holtz nodded. “I’ve accepted this possibility and, Pats, I don’t know what’s gonna happen, like ever, really--god, I really need to work on that.”

“Baby?”

Holtz shook her head and continued, “Anyway, I just know I want you. I want to keep chasing and studying ghosts. And,” Holtz tapped the bottom of her chin with the tip of her finger, “I wouldn’t refuse a snack if you have it.”

Patty shook her head and chuckled. “Me, ghosts, and food? Nothing more than that?”

Holtz shrugged. “Not really. Kelly and Jessika are fun, but I don’t know if mommyhood is for me you know? I’d try one day if you wanted to.”

Patty looked at her for a few minutes then shook her head. “Nah, I think I’m good. Maybe a dog eventually.”

Holtz bounced. “Like that bassett hound?”

Patty rolled her eyes. “We’ll see.”

Holtz reached for Patty’s mug and set it down then pulled Patty in front of her. “I’m game to learn whatever you want to tell me about you.”

Patty leaned her head forward to touch her head to Holtz’s. “You sure?”

Holtz slipped her lips over Patty’s and pulled her closer. “Yeah, I’m positive.” She kissed her again then asked, “Got any snacks or what? I gotta keep up my strength for these marathon sex sessions you keep pulling me into.”

Patty quirked her eyebrows. “You wore out, baby? I could always stop.”

Holtz kissed her again then threw up an accusatory finger. “Don’t you dare.”

Patty stood up and crossed her heart. She turned and withdrew a can of Pringles from one of her cabinets.

Holtz winked. “You sure know how to treat a lady, Pattycakes.”

Patty kissed her cheek as she returned to her cocoa. “I try.”

Holtz popped the top. “Round four in five minutes?”

Patty smiled. “You’re on.”


	7. If You Ask Me, I'm Ready

> _I was wondering maybe_
> 
> _Could I make you my baby_
> 
> _If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy_
> 
> **_If you ask me I'm ready_ **

“Unthinkable”~Alicia Keys

Mylene buzzed around Patty’s kitchen much in the way she moved about any kitchen, muttering ingredients to herself with a crinkle in her forehead from sorting through options and measurements. After she decided on some savory spice for their soup, she wiped her hands on her apron and turned to Patty.

“So what’s the plan now?”

Patty had given her a rundown of the latest development in her relationship with Holtz and she swore she’d never heard her best friend say _I told you so_ quite so many times.

She quirked an eyebrow and grabbed a couple of place settings. “The plan?”

Mylene nodded as she raised an eyebrow in response. “With both of you. Since y’all finally decided to stop playin’ like you don't want each other. What are you gonna do about your marriage?”

Patty sighed as she finished setting the table. That was the million dollar question. They hadn’t really talked about it, which, granted, was fair because they didn’t seem to say much to each other these days, a little too busy exploring the new physical side to their relationship. Patty brought it up once to which Holtz had just shrugged and commented that it didn’t matter either way. Patty saw through the lie immediately, but this current stage in their relationship was so new, she just let it slide.

Patty leaned in the doorway and shrugged. “I don’t know.”

A pot hissed on the stove and Mylene turned to stir and settle it. When she looked back up at Patty, she inclined her head. “Well, what do you _want_ to do?”

Patty lowered her eyes and ducked her head. She heard Mylene let out an indignant huff. She saw the top of her friend’s head as she moved closer.

“Patricia Tolan, don’t you hide that face from me.”

Patty rolled her eyes as she met Mylene’s glare.

Mylene smirked and her eyes softened. “Just say it, honey.”

Patty kicked the tip of her foot on the edge of her linoleum floor. The moment she spoke the words, she knew it would make it real. She wouldn’t be able to go on pretending they were anything but the complete truth. Mylene, damn her, knew that, and Patty was sure it was why she’d made the request in the first place.

Mylene crossed her arms looking every bit like her mother that time she’d caught Mylene and Patty muddy in their Sunday dresses after they were told explicitly not to leave the fellowship hall. “I’m waiting,” she drew out in a sing song voice that was also every bit Mrs. Ramone. Patty thought to point it out, knowing it would piss Mylene off.

“Fine,” she muttered, opting for the statement Mylene was fishing for instead. “I want to stay married.”

Mylene smiled as she reached for a vegetable plate and handed it to Patty. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”

Patty flung a carrot at her while Mylene laughed. “I’m getting a new best friend.”

Mylene nodded with that ridiculous sarcastic smirk she was so fond of throwing Patty’s way. “Yeah, and how would you survive without me supplying forty percent of your diet?”

Patty shrugged. “Yeah, well, the hard part in this is going to be convincing Holtzy that staying married isn’t a crazy idea.”

Mylene crossed her eyebrows as she turned off the burners. “From what you’ve told me, those are her favorite kind.”

Patty nodded slowly; she couldn’t deny that.

* * *

Coincidentally, the day Patty finally got up the nerve to broach the subject with Holtz was the day Jennifer Lynch stopped by to give them the news Patty would have welcomed three months ago.

Jennifer waltzed into the waiting room with a thick folder and spotted them immediately. Patty was catching up on some research while Holtz sat close by hunched over her latest prototype.

Jennifer nodded as she reached them. “Good, you’re together.” She crossed her eyebrows and glanced around their empty waiting room. “I can see you’re very busy.”

Patty shrugged. “Much like the livin’, the dead ain't really a fan of Mondays.”

Jennifer nodded and set the folder down. “Anyway, I have your stats here and looks like we’re back in the clear. As you might know, there are still naysayers online but there are no more than your usual fare.”

Patty opened the folder and glanced over the charts and article excerpts. It was still odd to have her relationship broken down in numbers and media coverage. She was smiling at a paper Jessika had wrote earlier that week that she’d run by them before she put it up on their fan website when Holtz popped off a screw from her prototype that flew at Jennifer.

In turn, Jennifer let out a yelp and Patty tried not to laugh as she closed the folder.  

Holtz tilted her head and bit her lower lip. “Uh, watch out?”

Jennifer sighed as she shook her head at Holtz. “Anyway, that means your obligation to this is over so you're welcome to get your divorce or whatever soon.”

Although, Patty had planned for this conversation, Jennifer’s words still hit like a bucket of ice  water.  

Patty cleared her throat and pushed the folder back toward her. “Well, thanks for telling us.”

Holtz turned to face away from them both for a moment, shielding her face before she turned back to Jennifer. She opened her mouth to say something but opted for a short nod instead.

Jennifer slid them an envelope and Patty narrowed her eyes in confusion. “It’s for your intern program.” She got up quickly, throwing the folder in her bag.

Patty opened the envelope and noticed it was a personal check. She showed it to Holtz, whose eyes widened.  

Jennifer fiddled with her bag and shrugged. “Don’t make it a big deal or anything.”

Patty smiled. “Got a soft spot for kids, Jenn?”

Jennifer rolled her eyes. “It’s just a tax write off.”

Holtz laughed and winked at her. “You like us, you really _really_ like us.”

Jennifer scoffed and started toward the door. Right before she headed out, she called to Patty. “I’ll see you for our budget meeting next week.”

Holtz grabbed her prototype and turned toward her lab.

Patty reached out a hand to her forearm. “Hey,” she said softly.

“Hay is for horses,” joked Holtz with a wink.

Patty rolled her eyes. “You wanna talk about this?”

Holtz looked past Patty's shoulder and sighed. “I got some stuff to work on.”

Patty gave her a gentle squeeze, knowing better than to push too hard when Holtz was closing off. “See you later?”

Holtz nodded slowly.

Patty dropped her hand and let out a long sigh. It seemed that talking about things was going to take a lot more work than she wanted it to.

* * *

Patty found Holtz passed out on one of her workbenches later that night. She shook her head at the sight but was thankful that, at least this time, Holtz had heeded Abby’s warning and hadn’t fallen asleep with any flammable equipment on.

Patty tiptoed into the lab, contorting her body in different ways around different parts protruding from various areas in the lab so as not to wake Holtz too suddenly. She’d made that mistake a few times before and Holtz sustained a few injuries knocking her head on things or dropping something on her feet.

She placed her hand on Holtz’s shoulder when she reached her and whispered, “Baby.”

Holtz groaned but didn’t move.

Patty chuckled as she rubbed Holtz’s shoulder. “Hey, baby, let’s get you into bed.”

Holtz turned toward her and gave her a chaste kiss with her eyes still closed. “Too tired…” she paused for a few moments then added, “Carry me?”

Patty rolled her eyes. “Really?”

A slow smile spread across Holtz’s lips but her eyes remained closed. “Pretty please, Pats?”

Patty sighed. “Fine.”

Holtz leapt at her then, clasping her hands around Patty’s neck as she squeezed her legs around Patty’s waist. Patty would have guessed that she was faking being asleep before if not for the sudden nuzzle to Patty’s neck and Holtz instantly falling asleep against her chest. Patty shook her head and kissed the top of Holtz’s head, carrying her to their bunks.

Holtz turned to the wall as Patty settled in beside her and flung her arm around Patty’s middle as soon as Patty pulled up the comforter. She squeezed for a moment and whispered, “Stay.”

Patty smiled. “Can’t really go nowhere with that death grip you got around me.”

Holtz loosened her grip, just a little, and kissed Patty’s cheek. “Your choice, Pattycakes. Always your choice.”

Patty ran her hands through Holtz’s hair and soon her personal little koala was snoozing softly again. It took a few minutes to realize that Holtz’s words weren’t just about sleeping here. Patty almost slapped her forehead at her own ignorance. Holtz had already made her feelings clear in regards to their marriage. Now it was Patty’s turn to do the same. As Holtz slept on, she came up with a plan.

* * *

A few evenings later, Holtz was in her lab trying not to think about Patty. More specifically not thinking about Patty and her silence regarding Jennifer’s visit. Patience might be a virtue but it had never been one Holtz possessed. She should just ask Patty--she knew that’s what anyone would tell her to do--but doing and knowing what to do were two separate things and she couldn’t exactly get a handle on the former at the moment, so she was fixing and trying not to think.

Only, that wasn’t exactly going well either. Explosions were pretty standard in her work but all of the ones she’d caused all day had been the wrong kind. No matter how hard she tried to fix something, she just kept making things worse.

She turned off her blowtorch and heard music in the distance. As she neared her doorway, she placed the Earth, Wind, and Fire classic, _September._ She stepped out of her lab and noticed a post-it note with an arrow. She picked it up and found another pointing in the same direction.

As Holtz followed the notes up to the roof, the music swelled and she noticed a small table with cheesesteaks in front of her, a small boombox behind it, and all of the twinkle lights sparkling in the moonlight. She turned and saw an enormous pinwheel that had sparklers for fans and a sign that read _Let's stay married_.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up into Patty's smiling face. She wore a deep purple dress with sleeves and her sparkly earrings from their wedding. Holtz never really understood swooning before, but her knees started to buckle and she felt like the wind was knocked out of her.

Patty shrugged as she gestured toward the table and the pinwheel. “Figured it was my turn to ask.”

Holtz opened and closed her mouth a few times, at a loss for what to say. She settled on something she hadn’t exactly planned on. “You never let me use fire up here.”

Patty laughed and nodded like she knew that might be Holtz’s response. Holtz never got over how odd and comforting it felt to be understood so well.

Patty winked. “Well, this is a special occasion, and I might even give your New Year’s and Fourth of July privileges back if you promise not to light the fireworks too close to Erin again.”

Holtz wiggled her eyebrows. “The ban was worth it for the look on her face.”

Holtz still remembered Erin’s yelp and Abby’s eyeroll. She was never actually going to set Erin on fire but the reaction had been worth it.

Patty pulled her hands behind her back and tilted her head. “So what do you say, baby?”

Holtz blew her bangs out of her face and raised her eyebrows. “To what?”

Patty rolled her eyes. “Wanna stay married to me?”

Holtz walked over and reached to hug Patty before she realized she’d never set her blow torch down. Patty chuckled as she noticed too and took it from her. Holtz threw her arms around Patty’s waist and smiled up at her. “‘Course I want to, Pats. I always wanted to.”

Patty laughed as the lights and the slight shine from tears in her eyes made them twinkle in a way that made Holtz stomach do somersaults. She leaned down and hovered above Holtz’s lips. “Well, alright then.”

Holtz raised herself up on her tiptoes to close the distance and felt something shift and settle in her. It reminded her of finally fitting a gear in the right place. It was like the day they’d watched their wedding video or even the day after they woke up with matching rings. Patty wanted her, hadn’t stopped wanting her, and there was no greater feeling than that.

As her hands made their way to Patty’s cheeks and she was thinking  through a few different tactics for divesting Patty of her dress, she heard footsteps join them.

“Oh...I’m sorry...we can..um…” she heard Erin spill out in her signature flustered tone.

“We got a ghost,” stated Abby simply.

Holtz felt Patty smile as they parted. She winked as she whispered, “At least they didn’t interrupt the good part this time.”

Holtz threw up a finger at her. “That, Pats, is a matter of opinion.” She turned toward their teammates. “Meet you gals in fifteen.”

Erin quickly pulled Abby downstairs with her, a hand raised to her face. Holtz wondered for a moment how they could possibly get down if Erin couldn't see then turned back to Patty.

She gestured toward Patty’s setup. “This, Pattycakes, is perfection.”

Patty smiled. “Thank you, baby.”

Holtz grabbed a few cheesesteaks. “We’ll need provisions.”

Patty laughed and blew out the sparklers. Holtz pouted. Those were definitely her favorite part. Patty rolled her eyes and pointed a finger. “See, and that’s why you needed that fire ban.”

Holtz shook her head. “Bans, schmans.” After a few steps down the stairs, she turned toward Patty and ran her eyes over her wife’s body. “Can I tempt you to don this again after we’re done?”

Patty nodded and winked. “Just wait till you see what I got under it.”

Holtz raced down the rest of the stairs, never before so eager to finish a bust in record time.


	8. The Book of Love

> **_The book of love_ ** _is long and boring…_
> 
> _I love when you read to me and you can read me anything..._
> 
> _I love when you sing to me and you can sing me anything..._

“Book of Love”~Peter Gabriel

Janet Jackson’s _Escapade_ made its way to Patty’s ears as she groaned a little and opened her eyes. Instead of feeling around for the phone, she swung her arm toward the space next to her and came up empty. She sat up and grabbed her phone as she blinked and her vision cleared.

“Baby?” she called, but received no answer. She made her way to the closet for her robe and noticed Holtzmann’s basketball shorts (her usual evening wear) were crumpled up on the floor.

She walked into the bathroom but it was empty, too.

A light knock came from the adjoining door. As Patty opened it, Erin came into view decked out in her red plaid pajamas with a smile.  

“Good morning.”

Patty smiled back. “Good morning.” She looked past Erin into her room but saw that her friend was alone.

Erin followed her line of sight and offered, “They ran out sometime this morning for pancakes. Holtz said something about it being bad luck to see you before the ceremony.”

Patty crossed her eyebrows. “See me? Did you explain--”

Erin nodded. “That it doesn’t count if you’re the best woman? Yeah, it didn’t seem to matter.”

Patty chuckled while Erin fidgeted with her hands. “You nervous?”

Erin started and dropped her hands, stepping back a little to let Patty in. “Why would you think that?”

Patty rolled her eyes as she closed the door behind her. “Oh, I don’t know… Because you get to finally get married after experiencing the longest slow burn in history?”

Erin pouted and playfully smacked Patty in the arm. “Hey, it wasn’t _that_ long.”

Patty quirked an eyebrow. “Girl, what else would you call twenty years of pining and separation followed by two years of waiting?”

Erin threw up a finger. “To be fair, it’s only been a year since we actually started dating. That’s not that long for an engagement.”

Patty nodded. “That part is true.”

Erin poked her playfully in the arm. “And all of us can’t just get married and work out the rest after the fact.”

Patty shrugged. “Would have saved y’all a lot of damn time.”

Erin nodded and dropped her finger. “True.”

Erin's phone buzzed and she walked over to check it. She raised an eyebrow and said, “It's from Mylene.”

Patty smiled. “Yeah, that'll be your bridal breakfast.”

Erin shook her head. “She does know we're just picking up our license in fancy clothes right?”

Patty nodded. “Yeah, but she's still mad she couldn't throw me a wedding reception.”

Erin crossed her eyebrows. “And that party last year was?”

Patty shrugged. “Not enough I guess. Look, I think she just enjoys feedin’ people.  I don't know why there's gotta be an excuse every time.”

Erin went to unlock her main door and shook her head. “I think she just loves any excuse to help out her best friend or, I guess in this case, her best friend’s friends.”

Erin opened the door to a cart with Mylene and company behind it. Mylene smiled at them both, dressed in a light blue dress with a chef’s hat for effect. A tall blonde woman with a large cosmetics bag walked in behind her and winked at Patty. “The hat was the compromise.”

Patty crossed her eyebrows as she went to hug Tina. “I don’t want to know what you were planning before that.”

Mylene pouted as she threw a napkin over her arm. “Not my fault that neither one of you appreciates ambiance and professionalism.”

Tina tilted her head and smiled as she kissed Mylene on the cheek. “Of course we appreciate it, babe.”

She moved to extend a hand to Erin. “I’m sorry we haven’t met yet; I just got back from a movie.”

Erin nodded her head slowly as she took in every inch of Tina. Patty knew that Tina’s size was intimidating to most people since she had a few inches on Patty, not to mention the fact that she was gorgeous.

Eventually, Erin took Tina’s hand and cleared her throat. “You must be Tina.”

Tina smiled and held up her bag. “I am and I was told that you might need some help with your hair and makeup?”

Erin tucked a strand behind her ear. “Really, you don’t have to. I know Mylene offered but it’s just a pickup at the courthouse; it’s not really…”

Tina threw up a hand and laid her bag on the bed. “Nonsense and I don’t mind. I hardly get to do weddings anymore.”

Patty crossed her arms and turned to Mylene. “You do realize you’re not feeding an army right?”

Mylene rolled her eyes. “You realize you don’t get to say nothing because you’ve denied me my right as best friend to cater your wedding?”

Patty shook her head and glared at her. “You just never gonna let that go, are you?”

Mylene winked as she set a plate on the small table in Erin’s room. “Nope.” She set a plate for Patty as well and pulled out a chair. “Now sit down and enjoy the fact I made your favorite blueberry breakfast bread.”

Patty huffed but did as she was told.

* * *

Erin leaned her head on Abby’s shoulder and sighed as Jennifer Lynch argued with her photographer. Abby, not usually one for public displays of affection, kissed the top of Erin’s head and said something to make her laugh.

Patty smiled at them then leaned to whisper in Holtz’s ear. “I missed you this mornin’.”

Holtz winked and took a pocketwatch out of her vest to fiddle with. She gestured up at Patty with it.  “Gotta keep the mystery alive, Pats. It’s the secret to matrimony.”

She opened and closed the watch a few times before she returned it to her pocket.

Patty just rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Mmhm.” She straightened Holtz’s jacket and squeezed her shoulder.

Holtz lightly grabbed Patty’s hand before she dropped it and hooked it through the crux of her arm. “Look at our girls. All grownup and married.” She swiped a finger dramatically at the corner of her eye.

Patty chuckled. “You do know they both have ten years on you.”

Holtz gave her hand a squeeze. “Our children.” She slid her arm around Patty’s waist and Patty settled her own around Holtz’s shoulders.  Holtz wiggled her eyebrows up at her.“Hey, now that the kids are gone, I can chase you around the house naked.”

Patty shook her head. “Baby, first off, they’re not even going on a honeymoon nor do they live at our apartment and secondly, we’re all going back to the station for lunch after this.”

Holtz tilted her head and threw her that signature devious grin. “So you’re saying cake then we ditch out?”

There was something about that look that always appealed to the previously dormant playful side of Patty. It was probably part of what made her say yes the final time Holtz proposed in Atlantic City. It was definitely what caused her to say yes to random games of chase in the firehouse even though another part of her always insisted she was adult and above such things. It was one of the greatest things her wife brought out in her.

Patty smiled back. “Cake and at least one sandwich then you got a deal.”

* * *

Holtz hummed as she walked into their bedroom, Patty’s hoodie falling off her shoulders. She carried a breakfast tray with leftover cake and champagne. She passed the tray to Patty, who held it up while Holtz jumped into the bed beside her.

Holtz grabbed a flute and held it up to clink with Patty’s. “To the kids.”

Patty laughed as she shook her head and clinked her glass with Holtz’s. “They’re probably still confused at you sneaking out the back with cake while I didn’t even get to finish my sandwich.”

Holtz shrugged as she grabbed a fork. Patty pulled a little frosting onto her finger and placed it on Holtz’s nose. Holtz squinched up her face and Patty thought she’d never looked more adorable. She grabbed Patty’s hand when she reached for the fork and took Patty’s finger between her lips. Patty leaned toward her and slid her lips over Holtz’s, lightly teasing her before she stole the piece of cake from the fork.

Patty raised an eyebrow when Holtz pouted and swallowed the cake. “Don’t go startin’ somethin’ you can’t finish.”

Holtz held her hand up to her heart. “Have you lost your faith in me already, Patricia?”

Patty took a sip of champagne. “Hmm, no, but everyone has their limit, baby, and I’m sure three times in as many hours is one of yours.”

Holtz settled back against their pillows and her eyes drooped a little as she nodded. “Fair. Read to me then?”

Patty pointed to their cake. “So you can just finish this whole thing without me?”

Holtz’s eyes widened. “I would never.”

Patty shook her head. “You would but it’s fine. I do need to catch up on some notes and I have a feeling I’ll be too tired to do it in the morning.”

Holtz beamed as Patty handed her the fork and grabbed her latest find on the history of ley lines. Holtz hummed as Patty read and she interrupted Patty’s pauses with her fork raised in the air, offering Patty pieces of cake.

When Patty was done and Holtz cleared away their tray, she settled her arm around Holtz’s shoulders as Holtz snuggled against her side.

Holtz looked up at her briefly and inquired. “Would you change it?”

Patty crossed her eyebrows. “Change what?”

Holtz nodded against her and pointed between them. “This. I know your friends are mad that they couldn’t be at our wedding.” She buried her face in Patty’s side and Patty smiled gently at her head.

Patty squeezed her side, “Nah, baby, I wouldn’t change it. Plus, as much as I love Mylene, she really needs to get over it. I ever tell you I found out she and Tina eloped before their wedding?”

Holtz’s head shot up. “What?” Her eyes grew wide as she drew out the question.

Patty chuckled. “Mmhm, thinks she can guilt me just cause they had a big one after, but that reception they threw last year was pretty much the same thing and my family loved it, so we’re even.”

Holtz nodded slowly and Patty grabbed her chin lightly. Her eyes caught Holtz’s as she added, “I wouldn’t trade any of it. baby.”

Holtz kissed the palm of her hand. “Me either, Pats.”

“Good,” stated Patty as she kissed Holtz’s forehead and turned off the lights. “Now, let’s pretend you’re not gonna wake me up in three hours when you catch your second wind.”

Holtz giggled in response as she settled against Patty’s side and they drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this story. To DiNovia for her beta skills, I'm forever grateful. Please leave a comment if you have a moment and always feel free to come chat with me on tumblr (I'm cassiopeiasara over there too).


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